# Tragic, Tragic News



## Cindy Orr (Jul 8, 2009)

I am typing this here, because so many were giving me suggestions about my stay problem with Loki. I then went onto mention that Loki had a brief, typical dog fight with our Newfoundland, Mr. Blue. Loki's ears had some damage, so he needed stitches. This was Thursday. I picked him up Friday morning, and within minutes, literally minutes of being home, he shook all the bandages they had wrapping off, popping some stitches, so back he went. They insisted on keeping him over the weekend. They insisted he would be better off, so that he would not pop stitches. Everyone told me he was better off there. Everyone. 

Well, yesterday morning, I got the call. Sunday morning. I could tell immediatly from the vet's voice and hesitation that something horrible happened. I threw the phone, literally, at my husband, before the vet even uttered the words, and I saw the look on my husband's face. 

I raced out the door to the vet's. It was true. My bestest friend in the whole entire world, my Loki, my love, my heart, had died some point the night before. They brought him out to me, I thought he would wak up. But he did not. I hugged him, kissed his giant nose, and squeezed his giant paws, I so loved his massive paws. 

No one can tell me what happened. The breeder insisted he go to the state lab for necropsy. There were no signs of bloat, his heart was fine. The vet did start an autopsy, till I called and said he is to go somehwere else. She said his whole gi tract was fine, his heart was fine. His lungs were fine. 

I am not sure what to think. I mean, dogs get in scuffles and do not die. Yes, he had some owies on his ears, nothing to kill him. 

Maybe he had an unknown clotting disorder (not von willebrands, there are not even carriers in his pedigree)....he had a horrible neutering, that had a lot of bleeding. Maybe he threw a clot. Maybe in the fight he hit his head, and had swelling, that got further aggravated by his violent shaking of his head to get the bandages off. Maybe too much head shaking. I just do not know. 

I am beyond heartbroken and devastated. He was not even 3. I love him so so so so much. I got picked on by trainers for how much I loved him, that you can not have that kind of love and top obedience dog. We were together just as much as we could possibly be. We had so many plans coming up. Aside from all that, he was my bestest friend in the world. 

I wish I would have just brought him home Saturday. Oh how I wish and wish. He may have still died, I don't know. At least he would not have died utterly alone. We may have even noticed something going on. 

I just do not know how this happened. A 30 second dog fight, and now my dog is dead. I will never ever see him or bury my head in his big white fluffy chest. 

I am having a hard time, even though I know it is not his fault, having the Newf around. His breeder offered to take him for a while, but I know that is not the best decision. Loki's breeder does not think I should send the Newf back either. 

Loki and Blue were the bestest of friends, Blue is looking for Loki. I tried to let him smell my clothes, hoping he would pick something up. Loki would have, Loki was brilliant with a super sensitive nose. They were always together. That damn bone. So many things I would change, but can not.

Ah, I just don't know what to say anymore. I will get another Berner puppy, I have that to look forward to, there are 3 breedings coming up that I will be interested in. Including Loki's mother to his 1/2 brother. The new puppy will never replace Loki, but maybe if I stay in the same lines, which I love, pieces of Loki will come through. 

I just want this deep pain to go away. 

Cindy Orr
U-CD Trillium's Smoky Mtn Mischief CD, CGC, TDI
2009 Bernese Mountain Dog Club of America Top Novice A Dog
2/3 CDX, 3/4 trained to Utility, and should have got his draft trial this coming September
Bestest Friend in the Whole Wide World


----------



## Connie Sutherland (Mar 27, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


----------



## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

Probably sepsis caused by the vets, sue.


----------



## Doug Zaga (Mar 28, 2010)

My deepest condolences on the unexpected loss of Loki!


----------



## susan tuck (Mar 28, 2006)

I'm so sorry.
RIP Loki


----------



## Cindy Orr (Jul 8, 2009)

I should add their blog, so you guys could see what a beatiful dog Loki was. I have not updated it much, but there are tons of pictures and videos throughout.

www.bernernewf.wordpress.com

Sepsis? He was on antibiotic. That is what I mean, I do not know what sort of answer I want. Vet's fault, my fault (they told me that maybe he stressed????? Not likely with a perfectly fine heart and GI (no bloat)....), plus that would make me feel a million times worse for not bringing him home. Or something related to the fight, I will never be able to forgive the other dog. 

Cindy


----------



## Shane Woodlief (Sep 9, 2009)

Ah Geeze that's awful truly dreadful, Cindy you have my deepest condolences and my prayers.


----------



## Jennifer Marshall (Dec 13, 2007)

Cindy, I'm so sorry  I recently suffered a loss of a young dog, I know what you are going through. Too many what ifs and how comes, nothing makes sense and you walk around with a question mark over your head. He was a beautiful boy, I'm sorry you lost him


----------



## Anne Vaini (Mar 15, 2007)

I am so sorry to hear this. (((hugs)))


----------



## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

I can feel your pain in your post. Don't blame yourself. Remember your special boy and all the good times you shared.


----------



## Carol Boche (May 13, 2007)

Cindy, 
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and Prayers go out to you and yours.


----------



## Jennifer Michelson (Sep 20, 2006)

So sorry about you boy, how terrible! 
I looked at the blog--beautiful dogs


----------



## Mike Scheiber (Feb 17, 2008)

I am sorry to here this.


----------



## leslie cassian (Jun 3, 2007)

I am so sorry. It's always hard to lose a friend, so much harder to lose them suddenly and young.


----------



## Edward Egan (Mar 4, 2009)

So sorry for your loss.


----------



## mike suttle (Feb 19, 2008)

That is a terrible story. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.


----------



## Ted Efthymiadis (Apr 3, 2009)

Sorry to hear about this Cindy!


----------



## Howard Knauf (May 10, 2008)

Cindy, so sorry to hear this. Please keep us updated with your findings.


----------



## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

What an unexpected outcome. I am sorry to hear this.


----------



## Anna Kasho (Jan 16, 2008)

Wow, what a shock! I am so sorry... It's terrible to lose them so young... You will be in my thoughts


----------



## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Prayers coming your way .


----------



## Diana Abel (Aug 31, 2009)

Cindy,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is always heartbreaking to lose your best friend.


----------



## lynn oliver (May 30, 2010)

So sorry Too young, too soon


----------



## Martine Loots (Dec 28, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss :-(((
I can feel your pain when reading your post, moreover because I went through the loss of my best friend recently too.
I know how it hurts and the fact it came so unexpected and that you weren't with him makes it even worse :-(

But don't blame yourself. You were doing what you thought was best for him. It will take time but one day the good memories of your boy will put a smile on your face.

My thoughts are with you ((hug))


----------



## Nancy Jocoy (Apr 19, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss, too.


----------



## Oscar Mora (Mar 31, 2010)

Very sorry for your loss.


----------



## Erin Suggett (Nov 17, 2007)

So sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find information on what happened.


----------



## Sue DiCero (Sep 2, 2006)

I am sorry.


----------



## Jeff Threadgill (Jun 9, 2010)

I am so sorry, that's the worst to lose them unexpectedly. My prayers are for and your family.

I had a GSD, somewhat of same situation. Defiantly get the another examiner. This was the only way I could have piece of mind.


----------



## tracey schneider (May 7, 2008)

wow such a sad story, so sorry, i can feel your pain through your words...

t


----------



## Gillian Schuler (Apr 12, 2008)

I'm so sorry Cindy.

If you can...please try not to beat yourself up about what happened. It happened and whatever I say will not alter things but you have to learn to forgive yourself. Only then can you come to terms with the loss and carry on. In my opinion, you have nothing to forgive yourself for and thoughts such as these will hinder the natural grieving process. You loved him so you couldn't have failed him - just think about all the good things you did for your dog!

Be well 
Gill


----------



## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

What horrific news Cindy, a very sad story. Hope you get over him soon and get to the bottom of it all.


----------



## Adrianne Steimonts (Jun 21, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine.


----------



## Konnie Hein (Jun 14, 2006)

So sorry for your loss.


----------



## Denise Picicci (Sep 9, 2007)

Very sorry for your loss, very sad indeed


----------



## Becky Shilling (Jul 11, 2006)

Oh Cindy, my heart just aches for you. I know the kind of second-guessing of yourself that you are going through, but please, give yourself a break. The questions are ultimately unanswerable and you can only cause yourself more pain. I am so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Wawashkashi Tashi (Aug 25, 2009)

Jennifer Marshall said:


> Cindy, I'm so sorry  I recently suffered a loss of a young dog, I know what you are going through. Too many what ifs and how comes, nothing makes sense and you walk around with a question mark over your head. He was a beautiful boy, I'm sorry you lost him


I totally feel for you too.. I "lost" a young-ish dog who we purchased to retrain after he had been "wrecked", to "bring him back" from *really* terrible training he endured. (We had worked/tested the dog previous to the bad training & knew what he was like before.) Many folks say totally untrue things about his character &, because of his premature death, I will never have the opportunity to take him back out in the limelight & prove them all wrong, that is mostly how he will be remembered.
It's absolutely unfair & really pains my heart that such a noble, good dog won't be remembered the way he *should* have been, but there's nothing I can do about it now. 

Losing our friends is always so hard, whether they are 3 or 13.. there's never anything anyone can say to make it better. Unfortunately only time can do that. My deepest sympathies.


----------



## Anne Jones (Mar 27, 2006)

So sorry for your loss.


----------



## leih merigian (Aug 8, 2008)

That is beyond sad...I am so sorry for your loss.

leih


----------



## kevin holford (Apr 11, 2009)

R. I. P Cindy's fluffy friend.


----------



## Rachel Kilburn (May 12, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss...


----------



## Stephanie Culberson (Nov 1, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, just lost my best dog friend, Rage, a few months ago. He was only 2 years old and died of bloat. He was my once in a lifetime dog. Just writing about this now makes me so sad. Rage was a gorgeous black and tan shepherd and an awesome working dog with superb confidence - everything I ever wanted. He will be missed for a long time. I am glad you are looking forward to new dogs - they cannot replace the ones we lose; but they help us ease the pain.


----------



## Chad Byerly (Jun 24, 2008)

That is horribly tragic. I'm sorry for your loss.


----------



## Mo Earle (Mar 1, 2008)

so sad...if you had taken him home and he died during the night, you would be blaming yourself for not leaving him at the vet...it is NOT your fault, but I know that doesn't make it hurt any less....:sad::sad::sad:


----------

