# Wax Job.



## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

*The wax job!*


My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!! OH MY GOD!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!!
Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused >me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip...there's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-Hoo*?? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. Yeah right! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace...the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..THE HAIR IS STILL THERE...ALL OF IT!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color...


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## Don Turnipseed (Oct 8, 2006)

Alice, this is obviously ment to be a 2 man operation. Next time call....559-877-####


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## Mike Scheiber (Feb 17, 2008)

Dang sorry to here all of this beaver coat for you this winter


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

LMFAO!!!

Isn't waxing fun?!


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## Faisal Khan (Apr 16, 2009)




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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Faisal Khan said:


>



You ask....and we deliver !










enjoy ! :lol:


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## Mike Scheiber (Feb 17, 2008)

Alice Bezemer said:


> You ask....and we deliver !
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thats ****ed up


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## Faisal Khan (Apr 16, 2009)

MY EYES :-o


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## Christopher Jones (Feb 17, 2009)

Faisal Khan said:


> MY EYES :-o


She is English remember, not exactly known for their Beaver prowess....


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## Angie Stark (Jul 10, 2009)

omg! Ive seen something similar before but I was STILL crying! Hell, Im gonna bookmark it for when I have a bad day cause that shit is hilarious! It's possibly a tad more funny to me because I, too, have had at least a couple of waxing incidents. Now Ive got to go get a tissue for the tears.


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## Ricardo Ashton (Jun 3, 2010)

ROLFMAO!! Thats funny,but there's a lesson to be learned here.
That's why there are SALONS for this type of thing, but hey life is a learning experience


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Faisal Khan said:


> MY EYES :-o


you asked and received...never look a gift beaver in the....ehhh what do you look into with a gift beaver ?


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## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

Alice Bezemer said:


> .ehhh what do you look into with a gift beaver ?


You don't look into it, that would be rude.


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Ricardo Ashton said:


> ROLFMAO!! Thats funny,but there's a lesson to be learned here.
> That's why there are SALONS for this type of thing, but hey life is a learning experience


More like "if you are going to do this at home, read the directions carefully" - waxing is NOT that difficult to do if you can read. 

On a side note, sugaring is easier, and in the event that it gets stuck beyond being able to be ripped off for whatever reason - it actually melts in hot water.


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## Adam Rawlings (Feb 27, 2009)

The Brazilian's have mastered the art of removing the hair from a beaver with wax. Road trip anyone?


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Ashley Campbell said:


> More like "if you are going to do this at home, read the directions carefully" - waxing is NOT that difficult to do if you can read.
> 
> On a side note, sugaring is easier, and in the event that it gets stuck beyond being able to be ripped off for whatever reason - it actually melts in hot water.



ok do i go there ? YES OFCOURSE I GO THERE

sorry folks ASHLEY MADE ME DO IT!

Sugaring can be disolved in water or be removed in a way more fun way....who needs hot water when theres possibly a willing tongue around to do the job for you ?

(awaits an asskicking from a mod)


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

I don't know about you Alice, but the idea is to remove hair with it, if it's stuck, there's still hair in there...who really wants to floss their teeth with that?!


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## Mike Scheiber (Feb 17, 2008)

Alice Bezemer said:


> You ask....and we deliver !
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Mike Scheiber said:


> Thats ****ed up





Ashley Campbell said:


> I don't know about you Alice, but the idea is to remove hair with it, if it's stuck, there's still hair in there...who really wants to floss their teeth with that?!


That's even more ****ed up








Please!!!! no pictures


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## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

If you were as tough as you think..you'd use an epilady :wink:


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Ashley Campbell said:


> I don't know about you Alice, but the idea is to remove hair with it, if it's stuck, there's still hair in there...who really wants to floss their teeth with that?!



and i soooooooo am not going to go on and say what im thinking coze ima peeeerrrrrty damn sure that will get me a lifelong ban from forum :lol:

now i need to go find more pictures for mike since he appears to enjoy em so much :mrgreen:


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Who needs pictures when there is video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K1PXBio1QU&feature=related

^ this one is hilarious!


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## Skip Morgart (Dec 19, 2008)

Gerry Grimwood said:


> You don't look into it, that would be rude.


 

...and if you talk to it, and hear an echo, well, that one has seen a lot of road traffic.


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## Faisal Khan (Apr 16, 2009)

I got some vision back in my left eye but the right one is a goner #-o


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

This is just WAAAAAAAY more info then I EVER expected/wanted to find on a dog forum. :lol::lol::lol:](*,)](*,)](*,):lol::lol::lol:


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## Howard Knauf (May 10, 2008)

Whats a matter Bob? Some old familiar feelings stirring up? :razz: I found the descriptiveness of the whole event rather erotic.........if you're into that sort of thing:mrgreen::mrgreen:


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w91ARapNx-c


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Bob Scott said:


> This is just WAAAAAAAY more info then I EVER expected/wanted to find on a dog forum. :lol::lol::lol:](*,)](*,)](*,):lol::lol::lol:



:lol: you should be gratefull to me Bob...atleast I keep the men awake and their blood flowing to their brains...question is tho...which brain huh


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

My big wet beaver :lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHPLmFcZV2s&feature=fvsr


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Alice Bezemer said:


> My big wet beaver :lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHPLmFcZV2s&feature=fvsr


This music from this reminds me of the movie, Fargo - except the beaver doesn't end up in a wood chipper...

Must have been filmed by some of our folks in the north.


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Ashley Campbell said:


> This music from this reminds me of the movie, Fargo - except the beaver doesn't end up in a wood chipper...
> 
> Must have been filmed by some of our folks in the north.


I know I have that music on a cd somewhere . Being Irish I like it . Not sure if It's appropriate while admiring a big wet beaver though .


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Jim Nash said:


> I know I have that music on a cd somewhere . Being Irish I like it . Not sure if It's appropriate while admiring a big wet beaver though .


what would you call " good wet beaver viewing music "

any recommendations ?


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Alice Bezemer said:


> what would you call " good wet beaver viewing music "
> 
> any recommendations ?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Af8fiGXWTo


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Ashley Campbell said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Af8fiGXWTo



Nice choice !

found one that kinda exactly fits but its uncensored :lol:

still gonna post the link tho :razz:

the ultimate wet beaver watching music according to "the outthere brothers" 

wiggle wiggle ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VuKlAThkGk

think before you listen ! its UNCENSORED :lol: :lol: :lol:

(and very very veryyyyyyy graphic)


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2008)

Alice Bezemer said:


> Nice choice !
> 
> found one that kinda exactly fits but its uncensored :lol:
> 
> ...


Is that you in the video?


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## Thomas Barriano (Mar 27, 2006)

Jim Nash said:


> I know I have that music on a cd somewhere . Being Irish I like it . Not sure if It's appropriate while admiring a big wet beaver though .


Sounds like the sound track for Last of the Mohicans?


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Jody Butler said:


> Is that you in the video?



im 41 joby, what do you think :lol:

I could say Yes but nahhhhh im wayyyy more cute !


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Jim Nash said:


> I know I have that music on a cd somewhere . Being Irish I like it . Not sure if It's appropriate while admiring a big wet beaver though .



I think the music is by Mychael and Jeff Danna 

very good music, the did a lot of stuff for the boondock saint movie (which was a brilliant movie)
*
*


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2008)

Alice Bezemer said:


> im 41 joby, what do you think :lol:
> 
> I could say Yes but nahhhhh im wayyyy more cute !


 
Yeah thats what I thought anyway.:wink:


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## Trish Campbell (Nov 28, 2006)

That is priceless, lol!!!


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Alice Bezemer said:


> I think the music is by Mychael and Jeff Danna
> 
> very good music, the did a lot of stuff for the boondock saint movie (which was a brilliant movie)


Boondock Saint's is one of my favorite movies ever, ranks right up with Pulp Fiction and Scarface.  Even I can appreciate the music, even though I'm no part of being Irish 

My favorite part though : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m-G9vrgPLk
I must have hit rewind a dozen times (ok we were drinking when i first saw it) and about died laughing.

There was a fire fight!!!!!!!!


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

"Is it dead ? " 

what gave it away ? was is the big RED FURRY STAIN on the wall ya dumb fk :lol:


love it when he says "well dip my nuts in marinara sauce" still think its the best movie ever


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Alice Bezemer said:


> im 41 joby, what do you think :lol:
> 
> I could say Yes but nahhhhh im wayyyy more cute !


that was Jody, not me...


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## Jason Hammel (Aug 13, 2009)

This is funny.

Can I post your story as my FB status lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Damn you straight to hell...I just got that tune out of my head from the other thread (thanks to Gerry I believe) and now it's back...


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## Jennifer Michelson (Sep 20, 2006)

Oh my gosh, that was hysterical Alice. I just had my gallbladder out a week ago and really shouldnt be laughing that hard...my stomach hurts!!

I gave up a long time ago on the cold wax strips--even with a helper, it didnt work well--as I remember, most of the wax and hair always remained on my body too...electric razor works best with least pain!!


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Alice Bezemer said:


> what would you call " good wet beaver viewing music "
> 
> any recommendations ?


Since we are the same age you might remember these :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XmxijQfMow&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F72xD4cU8Qg


A couple more local favorites :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6msW7wNh85E&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWTqAaWskCo


Some current songs :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TLfgaaIniKISU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec0ZbevW2do


and this one cuz it's funny :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv-E8gb3d84&feature=related


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Jim, you get some kudos for having good taste.


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Jim, you get some kudos for having good taste.


Thank you .


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## Sara Waters (Oct 23, 2010)

That was too funny. Never gone near wax and after that description never going to.


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## Thomas Barriano (Mar 27, 2006)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Jim, you get some kudos for having good taste.



Really??
Good taste on the WDF?
Oh you mean good musical taste......................you had me worried for a minute ;-)


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## Mike Scheiber (Feb 17, 2008)

Sara Waters said:


> That was too funny. Never gone near wax and after that description never going to.


:-&


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## Lynn Cheffins (Jul 11, 2006)

Gerry Grimwood said:


> If you were as tough as you think..you'd use an epilady :wink:


...the original torture device, who needs waterboarding if you got an Epilady......?


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Aahh, the joys of waxing :lol:.




Ashley Campbell said:


> On a side note, sugaring is easier, and in the event that it gets stuck beyond being able to be ripped off for whatever reason - it actually melts in hot water.


For any girl on here who hasn't tried sugaring, I recommend they try it ONCE, if for no other reason other than for the experience. Has to be the most painful method out there, and the most lengthy...literally took the skin off me, had to have my legs wrapped in cling film after that one!


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Maggie, it is a lot better than waxing. You just have to be smart enough to use baby powder (or since I'm allergic to talc, cornstarch) on your skin so the sugar does not stick to the skin...

Not to be crude, but uhm, with sugaring, I can full body wax in about an hour at home.


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Well it sure is alot you women go through . Thank you , it's much appreciated .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-5l3C_gcCg


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Maggie, it is a lot better than waxing. You just have to be smart enough to use baby powder (or since I'm allergic to talc, cornstarch) on your skin so the sugar does not stick to the skin...
> 
> Not to be crude, but uhm, with sugaring, I can full body wax in about an hour at home.


I only ever tried a home job once....wouldn't do it again! I'd fall right in to that story of the OP. Sugaring I believe had been kind of favoured by African women.....something to do with the pain ;-) and cheap too! I tried it twice, both times professionally, couldn't believe it was as bad second time around :lol:.


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

LOL! I guess I"m a freak, it doesn't bother me at all, but yeah the cornstarch is necessity otherwise it feels like it's ripping your skin off. Also, it works a lot better if you use cloth strips over the top of it like you would wax, makes it easier to rip off fast - like a band-aide. 

Sure as hell beats having to shave 4x a week at least.


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Nuthin quite like boiling wax and linen strips, leaves a nice clean job in under thirty minutes :lol:.


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## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Sure as hell beats having to shave 4x a week at least.


That must be one of those long coated beavers.


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Gerry Grimwood said:


> That must be one of those long coated beavers.


No shit...LOL....


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Nope, I just don't like stubble and have some fast growing hair, so shaving is at least every other day ordeal  Waxing fixes this, only a once a month thing.

Makes me jealous of blondes for sure, their leg hair grows back and it's not noticeable...bastards! lol


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## Don Turnipseed (Oct 8, 2006)

I have to assume we have left the realm of the wild beaver and are now on the domestic variety?


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## Don Turnipseed (Oct 8, 2006)

Seems about now would be a good time to combine this thread with the one on "Hair Growth"


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## David Frost (Mar 29, 2006)

I know the beaver was discussed pretty heavily. Now something for the turkey hunters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog

DFrost


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## will fernandez (May 17, 2006)

she looks like a pro gobbler.


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

David Frost said:


> I know the beaver was discussed pretty heavily. Now something for the turkey hunters.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog
> 
> DFrost



my god man...my virgin ears and eyes will never be the same again...

how to blow a turkey ?

gheeeeez.....:lol:


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## todd pavlus (Apr 30, 2008)

David Frost said:


> I know the beaver was discussed pretty heavily. Now something for the turkey hunters.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog
> 
> DFrost


Is it a coincidence that she is blonde


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## Sara Waters (Oct 23, 2010)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Makes me jealous of blondes for sure, their leg hair grows back and it's not noticeable...bastards! lol


That is me thank god - not much noticeable hair at all, havent done any major hair control in years. I saw an advert on TV tonight about waxing with Veet strips and how easy it was - just warm in the hands and apply. 

I had terrible/hilarious visons from the first post in this thread and thought no way in a million years, thank god I am a blonde, although underneath I would prefer to be a brunette - without the leg hair problem.


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