# I have lost my partner.



## John Masters

I don't like to get online and whine but I guess you all will understand in this case...I have lost my little man. It has been two weeks since he has passed and I cant shake the grief or the guilt. He was perfectly healthy it was a horrible accident that took him well before his prime. 

I know there is a whole memorial page on here but I am not ready to deal with that yet. I have never lost a pet that has affected me this way I honestly have lost family that has not bothered me this much...I really loved working SAR with him, we had a rappelling training scheduled for this weekend that I had been prepping a month in advance for. 

I know others on here have lost their partners...I figure most got to spend even more time with theirs than I did so I am not trying to say I have had the worst loss....its just my worst loss.


----------



## Hunter Allred

Condolences man :-(


----------



## Greg Jensen

I know where you're coming from, earlier this year BOTH of my dogs 3.5 yrs and 2 yrs old drowned..... Still tears at me everyday..


----------



## rick smith

really sorry for the loss. 
.... of course that doesn't help you much right now

maybe this will 

grief is good; guilt is not so good.

I don't know what happened but whatever is causing the guilt needs to be channeled into a personal commitment to learn from mistakes so they don't ever get repeated

if i had said something to an owner, they would not have taken a dog to a vet and it would not have been put under an anesthetic for an unnecessary procedure. The dog's heart stopped beating and died in less than five mins. it was in its prime too.
- was i responsible for the dog dying ? yes, partially
- did i learn something ? hell yes
- but the loss will stay with me for years just like yours, because i owned the dog


----------



## mel boschwitz

Sorry for your loss.


----------



## Laura Bollschweiler

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Laura


----------



## Matt Vandart

Aw man that sucks, I know exactly how you feel


----------



## Howard Knauf

Condolences John. It sucks and it's never easy. Every time I read that a member has lost a friend I relive my personal losses like it was yesterday. May your partner rest in peace.

Howard


----------



## Sarah Platts

We have a secret, you and I 
That no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in the fire glow?

And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?

And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.

And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
And when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

-Author Unknown-


----------



## Sarah Platts

John, I don't think they every really leave you. No dog can every replace another because the other is still with you. In your heart.
But please don't dwell on the past but be like your partner and look forward to the next day.
I won't make light of your loss but things happen. It's a part of living. But look to the good around you and you will find him still there beside you.


----------



## John Masters

Thanks everyone for the condolences.


----------



## Denise King

Oh John, I am so sorry for your loss. Anyone who has given their heart to a dog eventually gets their heart broken....I have been there more than once. It never gets easier. You just get used to living without them.

Take care,
Denise


----------



## Bob Scott

Sorry for your loss John!
It never gets any easier and YES, there are some that were special for many different reasons.


----------



## susan tuck

I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Catherine Gervin

i am so so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. it is a hard thing to say goodbye suddenly, just as it is a hard thing to say goodbye a day at a time--there is no good way, it just hurts and hurts and hurts. all you can do is hold onto the good memories and turn them over a bit at a time when the pain decreases enough for you to do so.


----------



## Gillian Schuler

Catherine Gervin said:


> i am so so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. it is a hard thing to say goodbye suddenly, just as it is a hard thing to say goodbye a day at a time--there is no good way, it just hurts and hurts and hurts. all you can do is hold onto the good memories and turn them over a bit at a time when the pain decreases enough for you to do so.


 John, 

Catherine has said what I wanted to say. I had tears in my eyes when I read your post, thinking not only of you but also like Howard said, of the dogs I have had to let go.

I wish I could alleviate your grief but I can't. I can only wish that you can come to terms with the inevitable. He's gone, he's safe and you must find your way to free yourself and maybe start again.

The new start might help the healing process.

I am really not religious but all I can think of is "God bless".

Gill


----------



## Dave Martin

Incredibly sorry for your loss, John.. may he RIP


----------



## Zakia Days

My condolences to you, sir. The physical body dies and the spirit is set free. As a few have mentioned already, his spirit is still with you. Take some comfort in knowing that.


----------



## Brian Anderson

Sorry to hear of your loss and the grief I understand fully.. I have certainly had the gut wrenching experience more than once and I understand. Remember the good stuff and cherish the memory and move on brother. RIP to your dog


----------



## John Masters

I do plan to work another pup for SAR. I think I may get a Mal. It will be a bit before I am ready and can afford a nice pup.


----------



## Brian Anderson

John Masters said:


> I do plan to work another pup for SAR. I think I may get a Mal. It will be a bit before I am ready and can afford a nice pup.


always a good thing to do! I recommend it... although the special ones can never be replaced ,,, that void can be filled with a new adventure ,,,


----------



## Sarah Platts

Do take the time you need to be ready for a new partner. While getting a new puppy can help you move ahead with your life, getting one before you are ready causes issues because you do not emotionally bond or get deeply involved with your new partner which DOES trickle down the lead and neither of you will be happy.

I would say you pick a breed or individual that you want. Don't get a mal if you are not a mallie person. I know I'm not one and so would never voluntarily get one. =; There are other forms of torture I would subject myself to first before that.


----------



## Jay Quinn

mals can be hell to live with - trust me, i have 4 of the buggers atm... that said the dog i am starting SAR with is a 4yo mal and once he got past the destructo-puppy stage (seemingly overnight at about 2.5yo) he has been absolutely fantastic as a house pet, he definitely causes me the least hassles of my current lot - but i am also used to high drive working line dogs, and he would probably still be too much for an average family... if you are partial to other breeds, i'd pick something else over a mal... springers are often exceptional at search work and they are a little smaller than a mal, and over here border collies seem to be popular for SAR, as well as labs - though a high-drive nutter of a lab can be just as bad as a mal... though prolly not quite so quirky... 

and words always seem so inadequate at times like these... for what it's worth, i am very sorry for your loss


----------



## John Masters

I was debating between a Mal and a Catahoula when I got Jager. I love do love Catahoulas, but I would like to try something different this time. I have spent awhile with the departments Mal and I like him a lot. But it will be awhile till I get one because I am looking for a house. 

I may dabble in narc detection as well.


----------



## Kat Hunsecker

I am very sorry for your loss, I got tears in my eyes reading this. It is tough... I understand I couldn't talk about loosing my girl for the longest time, not even my best friends.
I miss her dearly. Just the other night I was dreaming about her and found myself screaming her name. 
My heart goes out to you. The unexpected ones are more difficult I think. I think you really can't say good by...

Hugs....


----------

