# I swear this really happened



## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

This story is just so unreal sounding, but yes it really happened and no I haven't taken any drugs to hallucinate this shit, it's just really that crazy. It's funny now, it wasn't then.

My oldest son is nearly 7, he was sitting on the sofa watching cartoons this morning around 8 this morning. His younger brother and sister are still asleep - but not for long.
Both dogs are crated in the living room where my son is. I'm about half awake because I've been really sick with the flu and I'm just not going for getting up yet. The dogs start barking and freaking out, then I hear my oldest son scream and run, then his bedroom door slam. 

Not much can un-ass my kid from cartoons in the morning. So I get up (in my underwear, you'll see why this is funny in a minute) and start to walk out my bedroom door when I'm met with a snarling pitbull. 

:-o I don't own a pitbull, and there are 2 pitbulls in my house - though the male wasn't interested in me at all and just watched.

I stepped back and slammed my bedroom door. I happen to have a stainless steel curtain rod in my room where my kids yanked it down a few days ago. I also have a 9mm - and my phone is in the kitchen, to get to the phone, I have to cross evil ****ing dog in the way. 
So I rack the slide on the gun and grab the curtain rod (half asleep and got slide bite on my hand pretty good), and open the door. Dog snarls and starts to lunge and gets whacked with the curtain rod...I back the dog all the way out my back door and into the yard - while my neighbor (same one that called the FD over the skunk) stands and watches as I'm backing this dog down with a curtain rod in 1 hand, a 9mm pistol in the other, in my underwear. 

No I didn't shoot it because while it was in my house I was concerned with what kind of damage putting a 9mm black talon through the floor was going to do - I live in a rental. But I definitely had it in case being whacked upside the head didn't back it off. 

I lock the dogs in my yard and call animal control to come get them. They escaped because animal control took 3.5 hours to get out to pick them up and that's how they'd gotten in, dug under my fence. Meanwhile, they had gone next door and terrorized the elderly couple that lives there and started another fight down the street.
If it shows up again I'm going to shoot it though, animal control said I have every right to do so also.

No moral to this story, just rather comical at this point. Considering I am about as alive as dracula in the morning, I think I did pretty good because everyone ended up safe and nobody got bit. I later realized I beat the dog off with a 2 ft curtain rod, which now doesn't seem to be my brightest move.


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## Chris Smith (Jul 29, 2010)

I often carry a pistol into the yard in my underwear so not to problematic to me. I usually find strange PEOPE in the house but only after a bender so i ask them if i invited them before i shoot. Good job with the curtain rod careful about stating the facts PETA may be watching. Did the kid get to finish his cartoons...... I hate cliff hangers


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## Jeff Oehlsen (Apr 7, 2006)

There is something so hot about a chick with a curtain rod and a small caliber pistol in her undies. Have to wonder if they were grannies or not. LOL


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Yeah, once the nasty thing was out of the house he went back to his cartoon watching. Happy Labor day!


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Have to ask....how did the dogs get INTO the HOUSE?


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> There is something so hot about a chick with a curtain rod and a small caliber pistol in her undies. Have to wonder if they were grannies or not. LOL


Nope, no granny panties for me! I imagine my neighbors have really formed an interesting opinion about me after this though - glad I'm moving.

The dog got in by digging under my 6 ft privacy fence...walking up the deck, and in through the sliding glass door (has a dog door on it). I thought it was probably because my bitch is in heat, but this was a female dog that came in and started shit with me. The male that was with her kind of stayed back like "I'm not involved in this shit" and didn't give me any trouble.


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Nope, no granny panties for me! I imagine my neighbors have really formed an interesting opinion about me after this though - glad I'm moving.
> 
> The dog got in by digging under my 6 ft privacy fence...walking up the deck, and in through the sliding glass door (has a dog door on it). I thought it was probably because my bitch is in heat, but this was a female dog that came in and started shit with me. The male that was with her kind of stayed back like "I'm not involved in this shit" and didn't give me any trouble.


I used to have a few dogs ending up in my yard, at my old house..when females were in season, I too had a doggie door, and also had a dog end up in my kitchen, not a snarling pitbull though, a crazy dachshund, that did not make it out of the house....I did take the doggie door out after that...


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## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

Chris Smith said:


> I often carry a pistol into the yard in my underwear so not to problematic to me. I usually find strange PEOPE in the house but only after a bender so i ask them if i invited them before i shoot. Good job with the curtain rod careful about stating the facts PETA may be watching. Did the kid get to finish his cartoons...... I hate cliff hangers


Ha. Chris, is your dogs name really McLovin? =D>


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Yeah I've never had a problem with it before, of course my bitch is crated to keep accidents from happening until she's out. 
But I"m moving by the end of this month I'm pretty sure (still waiting on the Army to stop their hurry up and wait process, I need 1 paper from them and I"m gone), so no point in trying to remove it now that I've lived here for 18 months. 

I talked to my mom and told her, she said only I could have a story that insane that was true - and "you're the first person I've ever met to have an home invasion by a dog" - yeah, jokes at my expense, can't wait for Christmas now!


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Yeah I've never had a problem with it before, of course my bitch is crated to keep accidents from happening until she's out.
> But I"m moving by the end of this month I'm pretty sure (still waiting on the Army to stop their hurry up and wait process, I need 1 paper from them and I"m gone), so no point in trying to remove it now that I've lived here for 18 months.
> 
> I talked to my mom and told her, she said only I could have a story that insane that was true - and "you're the first person I've ever met to have an home invasion by a dog" - yeah, jokes at my expense, can't wait for Christmas now!


crazy stuff happens...be thankful she did not get one of your children or break into one of your crates, or decide to fight back when you were whacking her with a 2 foot rod ....We all know A LOT of dogs that would not take kindly to being whacked with a 2 foot rod..different dogs I know..but lucky still... be thankful...


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

yep, that's what the gun was for...dog decides it doesn't enjoy being beat over the head, gets shot. Thing is, if it had just ya know, took off instead of confronting me, it wouldn't have had a problem at all.

Pits are some weird dogs mentally, I've met good ones, and some really nasty bad ones - more of the latter though.


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Ashley Campbell said:


> I talked to my mom and told her, she said only I could have a story that insane that was true - and "you're the first person I've ever met to have an home invasion by a dog" -


I had a dog that tore up the back door of my house trying to get in after a bitch in heat. It was a Saint Bernard so you can imagine the racket he was making. My dad once had a **** walk into his house. I think he was in his underwear too when he met that scoundrel. Where's Suttle's little tanks when you need them?? I'm still not quite sure how he got it out of his house. You'd have to know my dad to be able to understand why that's a bit of a curious thought.

But yeah Ashley that was an interesting story for sure. Everything else seemed pretty normal till you mentioned the underwear thing. :grin: Let's hope you were wearing some really cool ones. Heck you might find yourself on a Girls Gone Wild DVD in the future. :-$


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## James Lechernich (Oct 20, 2009)

Pics of the snarling pit bulls and ungranny panties or it didn't happen.


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## mike suttle (Feb 19, 2008)

James Lechernich said:


> Pics of the snarling pit bulls and ungranny panties or it didn't happen.


Damn, I was too late on another post! I was just gonna say that we would need to see pictures of her in her panties with the 9mm before we could believe this story.


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## Harry Keely (Aug 26, 2009)




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## Thomas Barriano (Mar 27, 2006)

James Lechernich said:


> Pics of the snarling pit bulls and ungranny panties or it didn't happen.


Asheley

I'll volunteer to come over with a video camera if you provide the panties and the pitbull 

Colorado Springs is going to be boring when you leave LOL


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Nicole Stark said:


> Heck you might find yourself on a Girls Gone Wild DVD in the future. :-$



Ehmmmm Nicole.... you know of the Girls Gone Wild DVD's how  is there anything you would like to share with us :-k


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## Kristen Cabe (Mar 27, 2006)

I thought pitbulls were banned in CS.?


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## Jerry Lyda (Apr 4, 2006)

That pitt was highly trained to go in and flush out suspects. This is the second dog that I have trained for this. The dog goes in and gets people to chase it out with sticks. LMAO Food for thought. LOL


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## Chris Smith (Jul 29, 2010)

yes it is W'McLovin des Barriques 9mos old


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Jerry Lyda said:


> That pitt was highly trained to go in and flush out suspects. This is the second dog that I have trained for this. The dog goes in and gets people to chase it out with sticks. LMAO Food for thought. LOL


highly trained to draw out women in their panties


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

James Lechernich said:


> Pics of the snarling pit bulls and ungranny panties or it didn't happen.


One of the best responses ever on the WDF . I second or third that and am calling BS until proven otherwise !


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## David Ruby (Jul 21, 2009)

That is the best possible outcome. A mom comes out of her room wearing only her underclothes armed with a curtain rod and a 9mm to ward off a psychotic Pit Bull Terrier. The more I think about that the cooler it becomes.

I hope somebody shoots that APBT though. It sounds like a real piece of work, and I'm REALLY glad you and your son got out of it unscathed.

-Cheers


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## Mike Lauer (Jul 26, 2009)

I am having trouble understanding exactly what happened, please post pics of you in your underwear the curtain rod and the gun, for strictly scientific reasons of course...LOL


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## Thomas Barriano (Mar 27, 2006)

Kristen Cabe said:


> I thought pitbulls were banned in CS.?


Hi Kristen,

Nope, Denver, Aurora, Commerce City mainly. In Colorado Springs we use em to flush out nekkid wimmens. Although we may have to outlaw nekkid wimmen with hand guns for community safety


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

What a cracking story Ashley, and glad everyone was ok. You always could of fastened Ol' Bob to the end of that curtain rod and drilled that pit bull's head lol


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> What a cracking story Ashley, and glad everyone was ok. You always could of fastened Ol' Bob to the end of that curtain rod and drilled that pit bull's head lol


not gonna risk bob getting hurt..


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## Kristen Cabe (Mar 27, 2006)

Thomas Barriano said:


> In Colorado Springs we use em to flush out nekkid wimmens. Although we may have to outlaw nekkid wimmen with hand guns for community safety


Awesome. :lol:


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Joby Becker said:


> not gonna risk bob getting hurt..


She's keeping quiet on that one isn't she ? :grin:


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> She's keeping quiet on that one isn't she ? :grin:


Joby's got it right, until hubby get's back from Afghanistan, BOB is my only hope other than morally bankrupt skeezing around...so no can't risk BOB's safety.

Sorry, I've been really sick, I've had the flu for 4 days now so I kind of just woke up. 

Too bad it's just me and the kids right, I know if hubby had been there he'd have taken pictures if he wasn't dying from laughter.


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

You're such a sport Ashley, three kids under seven?, two dogs, absent husband, skunk misadventures pre moving with stuffed up vax and passports, but still....Bob is intact and a priority. Love it .


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Hey, you have to have a sense of humor to be me! Kiddos are 2, 4, and almost 7 - #4 is due in Feb. Now see, if I had been thinking about BOB rather than hubby while he was home...#4 would have had to wait until after deployment 
Being me is fun because all kinds of really odd stuff happens and at the time it's more of a shock, then afterwards it's like "does this shit only really happen to me?"


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

You must eat one helluva lot of weetabix...good on you :lol:.


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

:-k Am I still allowed to be a mod with the visuals I have bouncing around my head? OO :twisted:


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> You must eat one helluva lot of weetabix...good on you :lol:.


What's weetabix?


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Ashley Campbell said:


> What's weetabix?


Maybe their version of Wheaties?


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

I googled it - does NOT look very appealing at all.


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Ashley Campbell said:


> I googled it - does NOT look very appealing at all.


Doesn't look like lucky charms to me...


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## Thomas Barriano (Mar 27, 2006)

Bob Scott said:


> :-k Am I still allowed to be a mod with the visuals I have bouncing around my head? OO :twisted:


Allowed? 
I thought they were required? :-0


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## Jeff Threadgill (Jun 9, 2010)

I agree, the visual just keeps going back to you know....
It's a man thing, all I read was handgun, panties, and yeah that's about it .





Side note;
Ashley, I'm glad you and the kids are ok!


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## Doug Humphrey (Jul 25, 2010)

Dogs (and people) run when they see me in my underwear....I've never had to resort to the curtain rod.....


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## Jeff Threadgill (Jun 9, 2010)

Haha same here Doug!


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Ashley Campbell said:


> What's weetabix?


It's a good, nourishing breakfast cereal, akin to porridge if you like....keeps you nice and robust :wink:.

Just an expression.


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## Jeff Oehlsen (Apr 7, 2006)

Quote: Dogs (and people) run when they see me in my underwear....I've never had to resort to the curtain rod.....

So you where a thong as well ?


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Harry Keely said:


>


There is two additional things I can think of to make it a perfect day.


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## Harry Keely (Aug 26, 2009)

Lee H Sternberg said:


> There is two additional things I can think of to make it a perfect day.


You might want to hold onto your thoughts, I had reservations of even posting this, but said what the hell and went for it anyway.


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Wot a bunch of pervs!


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Quote: Dogs (and people) run when they see me in my underwear....I've never had to resort to the curtain rod.....
> 
> So you where a thong as well ?


Who said it was a thong, I just said it wasn't granny panties 

Kids are cool, my oldest is over it and thinks it's awesome now...:-o I didn't find it all that awesome, but I guess watching your mom beat a dog down with a curtain rod has merit. My mom's still cracking bad jokes about it, so it's gone from a really weird situation to a family joke - someone has to be the comedian I suppose.


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## Harry Keely (Aug 26, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> Wot a bunch of pervs!


HAHA, easy there we are just joking around, some of you ladies are just as bad as we are if not worse.:-$


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## Doug Zaga (Mar 28, 2010)

Yep..Ashley wears those sexy grammy panties


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

[QUOTE said:


> Ashley Campbell;219754]Who said it was a thong, I just said it wasn't granny panties


 
Pretty dumb assumption huh? what woman wears a thong to bed whilst sleeping alone??? :razz:


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Ashley Campbell said:


> Who said it was a thong, I just said it wasn't granny panties
> 
> Kids are cool, my oldest is over it and thinks it's awesome now...:-o I didn't find it all that awesome, but I guess watching your mom beat a dog down with a curtain rod has merit. My mom's still cracking bad jokes about it, so it's gone from a really weird situation to a family joke - someone has to be the comedian I suppose.


at least you HAD panties on...or so the "story" goes


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> Pretty dumb assumption huh? what woman wears a thong to bed whilst sleeping alone??? :razz:[/QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> > ^ Exactly! Lol.


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## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

maggie fraser said:


> Pretty dumb assumption huh? what woman wears a thong to bed whilst sleeping alone??? :razz:


I bought a pair of thongs when I was on holidays last month, I could barely walk in them ..never mind sleep with them on.


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

That's what happens when you try to wear sandals as underwear Gerry...


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Ashley Campbell said:


> That's what happens when you try to wear sandals as underwear Gerry...


Never tried it myself....uncomfortable are they ?


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

I'm not for certain, but I know the sandals are uncomfortable with the piece jammed between my toes...so I would speculate that they'd be slightly more uncomfortable as underwear.


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Gerry Grimwood said:


> I bought a pair of thongs when I was on holidays last month, I could barely walk in them ..never mind sleep with them on.


Were they leather or plastic Gerry? it may have some bearing on the matter.


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## Jeff Oehlsen (Apr 7, 2006)

So they were granny panties then. There are only two types of undies, grannies, and thongs. I know plenty of women that wear thongs to bed alone.


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

No, there are not just 2 types of womens underwear Jeff...even guys have more options than just 2. 
Just because I don't find thongs to be comfortable to sleep in doesn't mean I'm wearing granny panties up to my rib cages  how about bikini ones? Not up your ass crack but also not high waisted - certainly not grandmother undie material, lol.

Jeff, stick to dogs, womens underwear fashion is obviously not your strong point, lol.


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Gerry Grimwood said:


> I bought a pair of thongs when I was on holidays last month, I could barely walk in them ..never mind sleep with them on.


thongs aren't referred to as pairs, those were a pair of TONGS you bought..


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

I heard you can get panties with holes in them and not just for your legs :-?

This thread is getting gross...I'm off to bed..in the nude like a normal person lol


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Joby Becker said:


> thongs aren't referred to as pairs, those were a pair of TONGS you bought..












Maybe it's regional, but to me ^ are "thongs" too - or flip flops.


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## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

Joby Becker said:


> thongs aren't referred to as pairs, those were a pair of TONGS you bought..


Whatever they were, they hurt my feet.


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)




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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> Pretty dumb assumption huh? what woman wears a thong to bed whilst sleeping alone??? :razz:[/QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> > ha ha, that line of thinking reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when the real reason that guys liked watching women fight was revealed, which was because they thought the girls might kiss at some point.


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

maggie fraser said:


> I heard you can get panties with holes in them and not just for your legs :-?
> 
> This thread is getting gross...I'm off to bed..in the nude like a normal person lol












This explains a lot.


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## Jeff Oehlsen (Apr 7, 2006)

Chicks don't like grape smugglers. Just how it is. They like boxers as long as they have some sort of primary color on white.


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Chicks don't like grape smugglers. Just how it is. They like boxers as long as they have some sort of primary color on white.


PFFFFT...i dont like boxers and im pretty damn sure im a chick...whats wrong with commando


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## Jeff Oehlsen (Apr 7, 2006)

You like boxers. Besides, you don't speak for all girls.


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## Martine Loots (Dec 28, 2009)

Thongs are fine with me I guess (if I got the translation right that is (Alice??)... we call them "strings")
But I prefer not to wear them while sleeping


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## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

This is what going commando and guns looks like. Normal people don't wear undies to bed, thong, bikini, boxers, it doesn't matter.










Christmas morning a few years back. Thankfully the tag was still on the gun. Men and cameras don't mix.


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Boooooooooooo:???:


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## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

Ha ha, could hardly post the other. Actually I think I deleted it a long time ago, right along with the ex husband. Men are suchs pervs. :roll:


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Michelle Kehoe said:


> Ha ha, could hardly post the other. Actually I think I deleted it a long time ago, right along with the ex husband. Men are suchs pervs. :roll:


yeah not only did you not post the others, you ruined the fantasy aspect...meanie....


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## Alice Bezemer (Aug 4, 2010)

Martine Loots said:


> Thongs are fine with me I guess (if I got the translation right that is (Alice??)... we call them "strings")
> But I prefer not to wear them while sleeping



idd een string 

Spose thongs are ok but as you say for sleeping ? then again who wears clothes when sleeping ?


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## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

I still have visions/nightmares of my mother running butt ass naked, down the street after some dogs that attcked our cat, when I was a kid. I do recall a .38 Special being involved. Course, my mom has this thing about being naked. So not what you want to see when your a kid.


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## maggie fraser (May 30, 2008)

Alice Bezemer said:


> idd een string
> 
> Spose thongs are ok but as you say for sleeping ? then again who wears clothes when sleeping ?


Obviously all these hopeful women that Jeff knows :roll:.


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## David Frost (Mar 29, 2006)

Thongs may be sexy, but to me it would be a permanent wedgie. I don't think they call them anal floss for nuthin.

DFrost


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## James Lechernich (Oct 20, 2009)

Michelle Kehoe said:


> This is what going commando and guns looks like. Normal people don't wear undies to bed, thong, bikini, boxers, it doesn't matter.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Epic wolf picture is EPIC!!

PLEASE tell me there's a matching wolf shirt picture somewhere??


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## Harry Keely (Aug 26, 2009)

This is what you have all been waiting for or have been feared of seeing:lol:


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## Jeff Threadgill (Jun 9, 2010)

Lmao! This thread is taking on a whole new meaning! No complaints here


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Michelle Kehoe said:


> This is what going commando and guns looks like. Normal people don't wear undies to bed, thong, bikini, boxers, it doesn't matter.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yep I'm definately a perv . Not the type of commando I was hoping for but oddily enough I kinda like it .


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## Ashley Campbell (Jun 21, 2009)

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Chicks don't like grape smugglers. Just how it is. They like boxers as long as they have some sort of primary color on white.


You do have that right as far as I'm concerned. NOTHING is uglier than white or the Army tan "****** tighteys" - that's an instant turn off.

As for sleeping naked...that's reserved for when I have someone else in my bed besides just me. Thing is, while hubby's home, the kids don't try curling up in my bed, but while he's gone, I wake up with anywhere from 1-3 little kids in my bed. There is just something majorly inappropriate about sleeping naked with toddlers in your bed.


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