# Mother In Law



## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

I will describe a scenario that I'm not sure how to handle. The dog in question is my male Dutchie, one and a half years old. He is a very social dog in all most circumstances other than with strangers in the house. Outside the home he will seek attention from a strangers.

When a stranger is in the home I put him outside. He will stare down a stranger through the rear door and jump up barking and growling. I'm certain under this scenario if I let him in he would bite. Gradually he will accept the situation and stop the aggressive behavior.

Next scenario is my mother in law is here visiting from Costa Rica. The dog considers her a stranger. Over the past 4 days he has accepted her in the home except for one circumstance. 

If my mother in law gets too close to my young son he considers it a threat to my son and goes nuts outside the door.

I have to admit I kind of like that display of what I think is natural instinct.

My question is simple. Should I correct or not.


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## David Scholes (Jul 12, 2008)

What does he do when in the same room as the baby and mother in law? I'm wondering if the door is like having him tied out. May not be the same reaction if together. If it were me, I'd try in a controlled situation with leash to see the reaction but you do what you know is safe with your dog.


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## David Scholes (Jul 12, 2008)

To answer your question...This is a great question. I'm curious what others would do.

Personally, I would just say NO and immediately take grandma to pet him. Of course that depends on the dog & grandma. I just think I should be the one to say who is in the pack and where they fit and not the dog.


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## Dan Long (Jan 10, 2008)

He doesn't like your mother in law? Feed him extra!!


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## Howard Knauf (May 10, 2008)

The aggression through the door can be territorial. Aggression towards the in law when she gets near the child can be a pack rank issue. You are the one who decides who the dog will aggress on, not the dog. Casual, normal human interaction should not be a cue for the dog to want to bite. Aggressive action towards the child is....unless it's you.

The only way to fix the problem is hands on like David suggests. My dogs will not aggress on my wife or I when disciplining the children. Any other person doing so better watch out. I've seen the dogs get really uncomfortable when there is rough play between my kids and their friends. Once I had to call the dog out. That was a rarity because the dogs are usually put away when we have rowdy visitors.


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## Gillian Schuler (Apr 12, 2008)

I know a lot of cases where just 8-5 family pets will bite the neighbours' kids if they have a rough and tumble. I hate to sound pessimistic but I cannot honestly see how you're going to extend your pack so that the dog accepts your mother-in-law whilst you are not nearby. It could work but maybe the dog is just testing his way and at 3 years' old (average maturity) will lay down the law with her - when you're not around.

My niece can come when she wants whatever dog I have, they have all accepted her from the word go, even the Fila Brasileiro and my older GSD. The Fila and the Briard (the Briard never threatened just watched) also accepted my brother but the Fila couldn't accept my sister-in-law. She used to wear a heavy gold charm bracelet and whenever she left her room, this jangled and he would growl softly.

Sure you can train dogs to accept people but you can't train the people as a rule. If the dog accepts a person, ok, but I can't see how you can make him accept someone so that it "sticks" when he's alone with them plus your child.


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## Anne Vaini (Mar 15, 2007)

Lee H Sternberg said:


> I will describe a scenario that I'm not sure how to handle. The dog in question is my male Dutchie, one and a half years old. He is a very social dog in all most circumstances other than with strangers in the house. Outside the home he will seek attention from a strangers.
> 
> When a stranger is in the home I put him outside. He will stare down a stranger through the rear door and jump up barking and growling. I'm certain under this scenario if I let him in he would bite. Gradually he will accept the situation and stop the aggressive behavior.
> 
> ...


I'm not a PPD handler. With that said, I would not allow this display. I would (attempt to) train a PPD to only react when commanded. When I'm home, and clearly in charge of a situation, not dog is going to usurp my authority and decide something is a threat. 

Once you invite any person into your home, your dog MUST respect your acceptance of the person and accpet ther person likewise.

What you describe - in my household - would result in a come-to-jesus meeting.

Like previous posters stated, it won't stick when you are away. A lack of aggressive display does not mean your dog is safe (to be around).


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## Gillian Schuler (Apr 12, 2008)

Anne, glad you agree. I also don't think there is any chance of making this stick when the handler is not around. 
Here I think there is a certain amount of delusion as to what I can make the dog do when I'm in control and what he will do when he's "left to his own devices", i.e not in control.


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## brad robert (Nov 26, 2008)

I can see how having a dog that is suspicious of people is a good thing and even an aloof dog can be a good deterent people can see that the said dog is watching them and doesnt trust them thats great especially around shady people but since when does the dog get the right to determine who he goes after you determine this for him or i. can only see it ending badly


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## Mo Earle (Mar 1, 2008)

curious, does the dog act the same outside with your in law- or is it just when he is out and she is in?

you know your dog better than anyone, and safety first, but if she is not nervous about this, could your in law, be outside with the dog and child... without conflict from the dog- if that scenario goes well,then you could possibly proceed to moving inside with the dog and the child together-and of course you supervising ? If your dog is ALREADY trained to accept a muzzle, you could add that, if not, it might just increase the indifference.

personally- I am hoping in laws don't stay that long, [-Xso for the protection of my dog, and the absolute prevention of the visitor from getting bit- I keep them separated, but if the in law, is going to be a permanent fixture:-&-then I would proceed to work on the behavior. protection of my dog is first, but I have to say safety first!! Mo


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## Kenneth Humphrey (Dec 15, 2008)

( The dog in question is my male Dutchie, one and a half years old. )
At 18mo,s old he is just now coming of age his social aggression is a combination of genetics and Training
in a dogs mind training is 24-7 Wheather you mean to or not you are constantly training him.

( He will stare down a stranger through the rear door and jump up barking and growling. I'm certain under this scenario if I let him in he would bite. Gradually he will accept the situation and stop the aggressive behavior. )

By letting him bark and growl at strangers that you let into your house and not putting a stop to it until he stops on his own is not a good thing, he sees your mother in law as a stranger that you let into your house just like all the others that you allowed him to bark and growl at.Until he accepted the situation

( Next scenario is my mother in law is here visiting from Costa Rica. The dog considers her a stranger. Over the past 4 days he has accepted her in the home except for one circumstance. )

( If my mother in law gets too close to my young son he considers it a threat to my son and goes nuts outside the door.) 
You like the thought of him protecting your child from strangers but not from your mother in law which he still sees as a srtenger

If your Mother in law will be around alot I would suggest that you socialize outside and in the house everywhere you can think of and as often as possible with you mother in law until your dog total accepts you mother in law as a family member and not a stranger until this happens you can make it where your dog will tolerate you mother in law and be aloof around her but should never be trusted around her.

If her visits are just a short term thing I would just keep them seperated.


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Mo Earle said:


> curious, does the dog act the same outside with your in law- or is it just when he is out and she is in?
> 
> you know your dog better than anyone, and safety first, but if she is not nervous about this, could your in law, be outside with the dog and child... without conflict from the dog- if that scenario goes well,then you could possibly proceed to moving inside with the dog and the child together-and of course you supervising ? If your dog is ALREADY trained to accept a muzzle, you could add that, if not, it might just increase the indifference.
> 
> personally- I am hoping in laws don't stay that long, [-Xso for the protection of my dog, and the absolute prevention of the visitor from getting bit- I keep them separated, but if the in law, is going to be a permanent fixture:-&-then I would proceed to work on the behavior. protection of my dog is first, but I have to say safety first!! Mo



I'm quite sure there would be no reaction outside the home. She has not ventured outside yet because the weather has been snow with temperatures constantly below 10 degrees F. She's from Costa Rica. 

For the some of the other posts- I would like the dog to react to some extent without "permission" in case the situation arises where it's not possible to give a command.

I guess I kind of answered my own question. After I "OK' a visitor and the dog continues aggression I need to correct. I didn't want to confuse the issue in the dogs mind.

I want the aggressive display initially until the "OK" because of where I'm retiring to. Because of the environment in Costa Rica with lots of petty theft I want visitors to believe they will be eaten if they come around when I'm not there. 

Those kind of aggressive dog displays go a long way down there. People there have a fear of big dogs and word gets around quickly.


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## David Scholes (Jul 12, 2008)

Lee H Sternberg said:


> ...
> 
> I want the aggressive display initially until the "OK" because of where I'm retiring to. Because of the environment in Costa Rica with lots of petty theft I want visitors to believe they will be eaten if they come around when I'm not there.
> 
> Those kind of aggressive dog displays go a long way down there. People there have a fear of big dogs and word gets around quickly.


Lee, My wife is also from S. America and she thinks I'm nuts because I'm teaching my dog to speak in German. I want my dog to put on a viscous looking barking display on command without anyone understanding what I'm doing. She is very social but I also figure 99% will believe from the display that she wants to eat them.


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

David Scholes said:


> Lee, My wife is also from S. America and she thinks I'm nuts because I'm teaching my dog to speak in German. I want my dog to put on a viscous looking barking display on command without anyone understanding what I'm doing. She is very social but I also figure 99% will believe from the display that she wants to eat them.



I'm just getting ready to begin the go nuts on command exercise. It's pretty interesting to witness the different reaction to dogs there versus here. You don't ever have to tell people there not to pet the dog.
There is a ingrained fear of dogs amongst 98% of the population.

My wife is really concerned about this antisocial female I have. She will terrorize the town.


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## Courtney Guthrie (Oct 30, 2007)

I have to say that an initial reaction is OK from the dog until I invite the person in THEN the dog needs to mellow out as soon as the person is through the door. The visitor is then TOLD to IGNORE the dog unless they come to you. 

That is the way that I've been working it with my dog. 

Good Luck!!! 

Courtney


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