# REALLY stooooopid pet tricks



## susan tuck (Mar 28, 2006)

Has anyone got any stupid pet tricks they taught their dogs that they would be willing to 'fess up to? I happen to have just finished a cocktail, so I'll go first:

1. ARKANE Check under your hood. (he sniffs his ass)

2. ARKANE Would you like a cigarette? (shakes his head wildly and makes weird grumbly sounds)

3. ARKANE You wanna shot of tequilla? (He hops & bucks around like a little bronco)


----------



## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

I taught a dog to shake his whole body when anyone asked him to "shake". Got some really wierd looks from folks!  
Who was it in the Schutzhund world that taught her dog to roll on it's back when she said "show me your weenie"?


----------



## David Frost (Mar 29, 2006)

I taught one to limp on the word "paw" as in did you hurt your paw. Same dog would growl at the word "lieutenant". It was great for; Evening LT how are you this evening. His best trick though and used in demos many times, from a dead run, when I yelled bang, he would drop dead and even slide in the grass on his side. The money trick was teaching the dog to put his paw on the hand in front of his nose. I'd put a quarter in one hand and tell people the dog could always pick the hand with the quarter; give me a quarter and I'll show you. I actually kept quite a few quarters with that crazy trick

DFrost


----------



## Debbie High (Jul 2, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol: Well Susan, I knew you were bored and pissed at Peter,but I didn't know it was that bad!! You must be irritated at Arkane too.....smell his ass! I want to know exactly what was in that cocktail. I think I need some!

Wish I could see all of these tricks you guys have taught your dogs. They are hilarious!

Debbie


----------



## Anna Kasho (Jan 16, 2008)

Hey Bob, "shake" is perfectly practical! Its super nice when I groom my guys to go "waaaait for it" take a few steps back "Ok, SHAKE". I like not getting showered with dirty dog water...

Stupid pet tricks though, hmmm. I accidentaly taught Candy to answer the phone while teaching her to retrieve stuff. She picks up the receiver, drops it, and barks at it. So I kept it... "Telephone! It's for you!" :lol: ...


----------



## Gillian Schuler (Apr 12, 2008)

It's not a trick either but I rang my mum once and the receiver was "picked up" and all I could hear was heavy breathing. I thought the shock of my very rare calls home had rendered her unconscious and kept getting the occupied tone when I re-tried. I got the Phone Company to put a very loud ring on and eventually she called back to say the Cocker Spaniel had answered and hadn't passed on the message!


----------



## Mike Schoonbrood (Mar 27, 2006)

My dogs do all sorts of stoooooopid things, but im not sure if they could be considered "tricks"


----------



## Terry Devine (Mar 11, 2008)

My Golden Ret. (Noley) Will dance on his hind legs. Give me a high five. And balance a treat on his nose and leave it there until I tell him to get it. This is actually a good trick because I can leave the room and he will not take the treat, even if it falls to the floor. Drives my wife crazy when I do it because she will tell him to take it and he won't until "I" tell him to.

Terry


----------



## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

Anna Kasho said:


> Hey Bob, "shake" is perfectly practical! Its super nice when I groom my guys to go "waaaait for it" take a few steps back "Ok, SHAKE". I like not getting showered with dirty dog water...
> 
> Stupid pet tricks though, hmmm. I accidentaly taught Candy to answer the phone while teaching her to retrieve stuff. She picks up the receiver, drops it, and barks at it. So I kept it... "Telephone! It's for you!" :lol: ...


 
That's how it was taught. Because he was a.....well......a show dog  I did a lot of washing and grooming on him. 
I just held my hand on his withers while I closed the shower curatins, then "shake".


----------



## Lynn Cheffins (Jul 11, 2006)

My old elkhound/husky X would die very theatrically with much rolling and moaning if you pointed anyting at her and said "bang". 

I taught one of my small females to jump up on my shoulder and balance there - cute until her her much larger brother decided to copy that move when moving at Mach 1 - ouch! stupid on my part for sure......


----------



## liz shulman (Aug 28, 2008)

Bob Scott said:


> I taught a dog to shake his whole body when anyone asked him to "shake".


I'm teaching this one to Ares. Sometimes he gets it, but he's still not really sure.

My best though - well, Ares' best - is a sneeze on command. It was easy to do considering his allergies  I had to teach Ares tricks. With his injuries he can't do any other training, and it gives his mind a little bit of a workout. He also plays dead (although he's the most moving dead dog ever) and we're working on wave and crawl.

Tyr jumps into my arms on command, which he thinks is the best part of training.


----------



## Anne Vaini (Mar 15, 2007)

I trained a dog for media and for stunts. She did everything in the book. Our last trick I was working on is her doing a handstand on my feet. First dog/handler team to attempt the trick. We never got the duration needed to perform it though. I don't know if her new handler is working on the trick.

I taught a dog to jumprope. Is that dumb enough? :lol:

The DUMBEST trick ever was functional. I would get SO FRUSTRATED with her. So I taught her a to roll around on her back, while pawing her face and chewing her feet on the cue "Stupid Dog!" hand signal - hitting myself on the forehead. lol

Wasn't there a SchH dog that was trained to rebite on the leg at the cue "stupid dog"? I remember hearing that once. Apparently the decoys gave the dog nice bites after word got around. Does the story sound familiar to anyone?


----------



## Maren Bell Jones (Jun 7, 2006)

I really should work with Lily on some more tricks for visits to the nursing home and Children's Hospital. She knows high five and speak on command, but not much else besides basic obedience. Her favorite is when I sit on the floor and tell her "lap" and crawls into my lap. That always gets an "aww..." 

And that reminds me, one of the nurses at the nursing home SWORE to me that her father trained police dogs in Germany and that gib laut (what I use for speak or bark) was not the "right" command in German. I'm pretty sure that's what we used in Schutzhund... :-k


----------



## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

I try to keep the worthless stuff to minimum but I had a worthless dog until he passed last year. To make him appear cool, I taught him to high 5 and shake hands, he would even switch hands if you asked "other one". He was a big hit with the kids.

Just because Baden is so damn cute I make him kiss my cheek. I point to the side of my face and say "kisses". I did it before our trial to calm my nerves some before walking out on the field.


----------



## Pia Porko (Oct 8, 2008)

"EAT THE CAT!"

And the dog will take my cat in her mouth.. If she can catch it first!


----------



## Konnie Hein (Jun 14, 2006)

I trained my older, over-the-top Malinois to throw himself on the floor on his side and "play dead" when I said BANG! He started throwing in behaviors of crawling around on the floor and whining, so I rewarded him. The end result is that he'll dramatically go down when I say BANG and then drag himself around on the floor whining when I repeat the command.


----------



## Anne Vaini (Mar 15, 2007)

How about this one?

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=278997&l=3ee0f&id=650576100


----------



## Konnie Hein (Jun 14, 2006)

Cute! Nice job!


----------



## Jerry Lyda (Apr 4, 2006)

I can ask my two Bostons if they are Ga. Bulldogs and they both raise hell at me and then I can ask if they are Wofford Terriers and they get quiet. 

I ask Bentley if he's hungry and he'll go get his food bowl.

I ask my wife if she's hungry and she goes and gets in the car, go figure.


----------



## ann schnerre (Aug 24, 2006)

oh jerry-LOL!!


----------



## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

Jerry, I don't think you can claim to be the trainer on that last one. 
That's a "born with" instinct with most wimmins! 
:-o 8-[ Did I say that with my outloud voice?


----------



## Gillian Schuler (Apr 12, 2008)

Not instinct - just having an one IQ more than the dog


----------



## Anne Vaini (Mar 15, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhAHhQ2g6Rs


----------



## todd pavlus (Apr 30, 2008)

My dogs always howled when they heard sirens, so I taught them to howl on command. It's pretty funny when you go camping and they do this. We had people ask us if we heard the wolves this summer while in the Adirondacks. Accept there are no wolves in N.Y. But there was talk of introducing them into the Adirondack Park a few years ago. Don't no whatever came of it. Nothing I think.


----------



## Becky Shilling (Jul 11, 2006)

We actually encourage the howling too. Every Saturday at twelve p.m. here, they run a test on the tornado sirens. We always say, " It's noooooooon....." and everyone joins in. 

_We have to listen to the damn sirens anyway, what's a little more noise?"_


----------



## Alyssa Myracle (Aug 4, 2008)

I cannot for the life of me get my GSD to howl.

The only time she has ever howled was as a real little pup when she was still throwing crate fits.


----------



## Connie Sutherland (Mar 27, 2006)

Alyssa Myracle said:


> I cannot for the life of me get my GSD to howl.
> 
> The only time she has ever howled was as a real little pup when she was still throwing crate fits.


We had a howly dachshund visit our club. :lol: Careful what you wish for.


----------



## liz shulman (Aug 28, 2008)

Connie Sutherland said:


> We had a howly dachshund visit our club. :lol: Careful what you wish for.


Agreed!! 

All four of mine howl at the fire siren. Before that they learned to howl when we lived next door to a hound mix. I gotta say though, the corgis have the cutest howls.


----------



## Michelle Reusser (Mar 29, 2008)

Oh God all my GSD"s howl, at least 4 times a day it seems and a couple a night. I have actually put my hand thru the bedroom window knocking and yelling shut up at 3 am! They do this 5 feet from my headboard, even throughtthe wall it's loud as all hell. The trick would be shutting them up. When you get 2-3 they egg eachother on and go longer than 1 would howl.


----------



## Connie Sutherland (Mar 27, 2006)

liz shulman said:


> ... Before that they learned to howl when we lived next door to a hound mix.


Every single one of the 5 or 6 breeds represented there that day picked it up _really fast_. :lol:


----------



## Becky Shilling (Jul 11, 2006)

Oddly enough, ours (almost) never howl at fire/police sirens, unless they are really close. The tornado siren in our neighborhood is only a couple of blocks away. It's LOUD!


----------



## todd pavlus (Apr 30, 2008)

Alyssa,

Have you ever tried howling when your face to face with her. That always worked for me. They just try to mimic your pitch, which I must say, the dogs sound much better than I do.


----------



## Alyssa Myracle (Aug 4, 2008)

I have, with no result.

Maybe as she gets older she'll figure it out.
I used to howl with my Boxers all the time, and I kinda miss it.


----------



## Lyn Chen (Jun 19, 2006)

One of mine howls to call me. One time he was walking past the bathroom at probably midnight, and my cellphone was in the sink and it rang. It made an awful rattling noise but more importantly it's one of those talking ringtones. He howled then. Weirdest noise I've ever heard so I came running to him, and he had this look on his face: "I don't know what's in there, but you better check it out!"


----------



## Becky Shilling (Jul 11, 2006)

Ummmmm.....why was your cell phone in the sink, pray tell?


My husband once picked up this goofy intercom at a garage sale. He had the speaker sitting on the floor right next to the floor furnace while he was in another room fooling with it. Just as my old Dobie, Mingus went walking by, he started to talk into it. This very strange, distorted voice seemed to be coming from the floor furnace! It FREAKED him out. He gave that floor furnace growls and skittered by it with his eyes on it from then on. No monster from under the floor was gonna get him unawares!


----------

