# Who Here Has Dated Or Married Someone With A Substantial Age Difference?



## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Since Valentines Day is almost here it might be interesting to hear some cupid stories.

Before I got out of the Marine Corps I was stationed the last couple of years at now closed NAS Olathe Kansas. I was 21 at the time and ended up dating and then living with a 33 years old foxy lady for a year and a half. She followed me to California where I lived with her for another year. 

My wife, from Costa Rica, is 20 years younger than me and a jewel of a lady Enel though I joke around and call her my old lady.


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

I have, the age difference - 17 years. I'm still a motorhead but was even more so then and he was a mechanic by trade. We didn't have any issues while we were dating except once. After a BB King concert I was invited up to hang out with him and his crew at an after party. I wanted to go but had no intention of bringing him along. Not that I was looking to hook up with anyone there but I just wanted to go and hang out without feeling like I had to split my attention. I mean, jeez we're talking about BB fricking King. Damn!


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Nicole Stark said:


> I have, the age difference - 17 years. I'm still a motorhead but was even more so then and he was a mechanic by trade. We didn't have any issues while we were dating except once. After a BB King concert I was invited up to hang out with him and his crew at an after party. I wanted to go but had no intention of bringing him along. Not that I was looking to hook up with anyone there but I just wanted to go and hang out without feeling like I had to split my attention. I mean, jeez we're talking about BB fricking King. Damn!


Just one issue? Shit, I had multi issues with anyone I was ever with but, believe it or not, the older gal I lived with.


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Lee H Sternberg said:


> Just one issue? Shit, I had multi issues with anyone I was ever with but, believe it or not, the older gal I lived with.


Yeah. 

Maybe part of this is because I never dated anyone I wasn't already or couldn't be friends with for starters - this is true of anyone I get dogs from as well. I've never been into the "girls night" type of thing but totally am up for hanging out and doing guy things. In fact, I really don't like being singled out and cornered by a couples significant other (female) other only to be forced into conversation and not being able to listen to something the guys are talking about, which is usually far more interesting to me.

I'm ok with alone time and aside from when I was younger, I never cared if whoever I was with went out and did their thing with their friends. In fact, I think most women push that envelope too far where men are concerned. Not to say guys don't, surely they can as well. IMO periodic separation can at times keep things interesting, so does sharing in experiences through joined interests/abilities.

And, I mentioned this in your other post about that teddy bear, I don't get that arguing, grudge holding, silent treatment, etc. stuff people do to one another when they get mad about something. Seems just dealing with it and moving on would be so much easier. I've found that most guys are pretty black and white, once you figure that out and stop playing games to get what you want, relationships with them are pretty easy. JMO.

Side note - I didn't get to have that "daddy's girl" experience and I attribute that in part to why I am the way I am and have the attitudes I do about certain things. I don't know how to play that game but even if I did I don't think I would. I don't like manipulating people to get what I want or to achieve an outcome I desire.

So, there... how's that for an explanation? :-o


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Nicole Stark said:


> Yeah.
> 
> Maybe part of this is because I never dated anyone I wasn't already or couldn't be friends with for starters - this is true of anyone I get dogs from as well. I've never been into the "girls night" type of thing but totally am up for hanging out and doing guy things. In fact, I really don't like being singled out and cornered by a couples significant other (female) other only to be forced into conversation and not being able to listen to something the guys are talking about, which is usually far more interesting to me.
> 
> ...


So does that mean you subconsciously really do want one of those teddy bears for Valentine's Day?☺


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Lee H Sternberg said:


> So does that mean you subconsciously really do want one of those teddy bears for Valentine's Day?☺


Why yes Dr. Sternberg, that's exactly what I want!! I'll expect it by Saturday, at the latest. \\/


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## Meg O'Donovan (Aug 20, 2012)

Nicole, the image that comes to mind is of your dutchie ripping the giant ted apart, and the room being filled with that filler foam stuff. 

The older thing Dr. S. referred to in the title didn't work for me. I don't think age was the issue. I learned that autonomy based on trust, similar energy/motivation levels, and shared interests are useful for happiness.


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Meg O'Donovan said:


> Nicole, the image that comes to mind is of your dutchie ripping the giant ted apart, and the room being filled with that filler foam stuff.
> 
> The older thing Dr. S. referred to in the title didn't work for me. I don't think age was the issue. I learned that autonomy based on trust, similar energy/motivation levels, and shared interests are useful for happiness.


Ha ha, you might be right about that. And for sure on the last part.


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Ahem……..

I just realized that my response to Lee could easily be taken out of context and probably came off as me being a bizarre woman hater. Quite the contrary. While I do have some I like to raise hell with, the closer women friends I do have tend to be extremely grounded, intelligent, experienced and well traveled individuals. Every single one of them has helped me expand my consciousness and capacity for growth through self awareness in very profound ways. I consider it a true privilege to share my life with them. And no Lee, I still don't want that teddy bear.


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

I've been married 48 yrs this coming Sept.

We didn't meet till after high school (different schools)

Classic school librarian meets the street punk but it worked.

One of my sisters STILL reminds me that she was the first girl I ever brought home to meet the family. :roll:

I tell the sister that bringing them home to the family was the furthest thin on my mind before I met her. 

Best thing I ever did. 

Kids think we're crazy because we have never had a serious argument.

I just figure that she puts up with way more then I do so hey!

She buys ME the chocolates for Valentines day. 

I will get a card but my son and I are going to Indiana early Saturday to look at a car. With her blessings I might add.

She's still one fine lady. I think about how lucky I am every single day.


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

What kind of car are you guys going to look at?


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

Saturn Sky Redline.

He's 30, single, owns his own house. Drives a Silverado and has my old 55 Chevy Belaire that he's putting a 500 HP 350 LS in.

He's tight with his money but I told him to go for it cause he's still young and single.


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## Howard Knauf (May 10, 2008)

I was 21...she was 38. I still like the older women but it's starting to get weird.


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## Nancy Jocoy (Apr 19, 2006)

I guess 3 years doesn't count even if I am older, but after 34 years he is the one who is bald and has a grey beard.


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Nancy Jocoy said:


> I guess 3 years doesn't count even if I am older, but after 34 years he is the one who is bald and has a grey beard.


Maybe you should ask yourself what you are doing to age him so fast!☺


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## Joby Becker (Dec 13, 2009)

Howard Knauf said:


> I was 21...she was 38. I still like the older women but it's starting to get weird.


yeah,,,now they're not just older....they are geriatric 

but hell, you can save all kinds of money for the discounts you'll get at restaurants..


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Joby Becker said:


> yeah,,,now they're not just older....they are geriatric
> 
> but hell, you can save all kinds of money for the discounts you'll get at restaurants..


Yeah but it goes right back out for all the medications they need to stay alive.☺


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## Judy Nguyen (Feb 5, 2015)

There's a 5 year difference between myself and my significant other (I'm the younger one). I'm a believer of Eastern Zodiac compatibility. I specifically wanted to date people born in the Year of the Monkey, Dragon, or Ox. And my best dates _were_ those, and my husband's a "Monkey", so go figure!  

But if I had to date again I'd go with a Dragon for sure, who'd be 8 years older (or 4 years younger, eek!) 8 is also a very lucky number, hence the Beijing Olympics being 8-8-08.


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Judy Nguyen said:


> There's a 5 year difference between myself and my significant other (I'm the younger one). I'm a believer of Eastern Zodiac compatibility. I specifically wanted to date people born in the Year of the Monkey, Dragon, or Ox. And my best dates _were_ those, and my husband's a "Monkey", so go figure!
> 
> But if I had to date again I'd go with a Dragon for sure, who'd be 8 years older (or 4 years younger, eek!) 8 is also a very lucky number, hence the Beijing Olympics being 8-8-08.


You mention a significant other and a husband. 

So is it all just one big happy family?LOL

BTW I'm is Prescott Valley, AZ


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## Gillian Schuler (Apr 12, 2008)

What does age matter? Just adjust his/her hearing aid!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ4NAZPi2js


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Howard Knauf said:


> I was 21...she was 38. I still like the older women but it's starting to get weird.


That beats me!☺


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Gillian Schuler said:


> What does age matter? Just adjust his/her hearing aid!!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ4NAZPi2js


My hearing is better than the old lady's BUT the rest of me is shot.


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## Selena van Leeuwen (Mar 29, 2006)

Dick is 19 years older. I turned 38 last december, he will be 57 in a few weeks. next august we will be married for 10 years and 12 years together.


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## Judy Nguyen (Feb 5, 2015)

Lee H Sternberg said:


> You mention a significant other and a husband.
> 
> So is it all just one big happy family?LOL
> 
> BTW I'm is Prescott Valley, AZ


/wave! Hello neighbor!

Oh no I meant my significant other IS my husband. Haha.


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## Howard Knauf (May 10, 2008)

Selena van Leeuwen said:


> Dick is 19 years older. I turned 38 last december, he will be 57 in a few weeks. next august we will be married for 10 years and 12 years together.


 Winner winner, chicken dinner.

One thing that older women taught me is that there is very little BS. They know what they want and aren't afraid to just get to it. It also made me appreciate all women no matter how they look. I've learned a long time ago that there is always at least one thing admirable on every woman, if not more. Now, that mindset may have lowered the bar for some people but then again I'm no Tom Seleck. But even I have a minimum standard.  BTW, my wife is 5 years older than me. Been together since 1986. Two kids, a brain tumor and quite a few additional pounds later and I still find her hot. She still doesn't believe me though.


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Judy Nguyen said:


> /wave! Hello neighbor!
> 
> Oh no I meant my significant other IS my husband. Haha.


I knew that. I joke around once in awhile.☺


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Howard Knauf said:


> Winner winner, chicken dinner.
> 
> One thing that older women taught me is that there is very little BS. They know what they want and aren't afraid to just get to it. It also made me appreciate all women no matter how they look. I've learned a long time ago that there is always at least one thing admirable on every woman, if not more. Now, that mindset may have lowered the bar for some people but then again I'm no Tom Seleck. But even I have a minimum standard.  BTW, my wife is 5 years older than me. Been together since 1986. Two kids, a brain tumor and quite a few additional pounds later and I still find her hot. She still doesn't believe me though.


After that one woman I've always dated women substantially younger than me . That either mean I'm very immature or a cradle robber or both.LOL


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## jack van strien (Apr 9, 2009)

Age is just a number but my girl is (a lot) younger.We get along great and we share a lot of interests.


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

Nancy Jocoy said:


> I guess 3 years doesn't count even if I am older, but after 34 years he is the one who is bald and has a grey beard.



:-o Hey! Nothing wrong with bald and grey hair! :lol: :wink:

When I was 17 I learned a lot from a 30 something lady in the neighborhood. 

Never gave any thought to marrying an older woman but then one day I rolled over in bed and :-o HOLY $#!+...........I was looking at one. Mighty purdy though. Still is! :grin: :wink:


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## Catherine Gervin (Mar 12, 2012)

Nicole Stark said:


> Ahem……..
> 
> I just realized that my response to Lee could easily be taken out of context and probably came off as me being a bizarre woman hater.


this is only somewhat on target with the discussion--how typical of me--but i am only recently able to make friends in a healthy manner. before my 30's, which is an age i never imagined i'd survive to see, i pretty much turned into Iago amongst my friends. i'd turn them against eachother and then crush whomever it was that we'd all built up to be the leader. in my 20s i could totally get along in that pack setting of all-the-girlfriends hanging-out-together-because-all-of-our-boyfriends-were-friends. we would all go get destroyed and go see shows together and keep an eye out for fights and whatnot but there was only that perceived intimacy brought on by drugs/booze and i kept them apart from me. i had two dogs and a boyfriend--why would i need friends?
now i try to maintain the 3 awesome friendships i have with these other Moms--partly to show as normal for my daughter to see--and partly because my dog loves my husband too much to be a solid confidante when he makes me mad. good friends are wonderful, but if any of mine demanded shopping or spa or gossip days i think i'd go AWOL for awhile. thankfully they know me and wouldn't...


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## Dean Campbell (Feb 15, 2010)

My wife is 14 years younger, she like big DDR GSD males, I like super fast KNPV type Dutch females. We have been married 13 yrs, together for 15 seem like forever and just yesterday at the same time.

I remember when we first met, she said to me "You should have a dog." I said "I do." It has been a very good relationship, I am a blessed man


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Dean Campbell said:


> My wife is 14 years younger, she like big DDR GSD males, I like super fast KNPV type Dutch females. We have been married 13 yrs, together for 15 seem like forever and just yesterday at the same time.
> 
> I remember when we first met, she said to me "You should have a dog." I said "I do." It has been a very good relationship, I am a blessed man


My wife was a English teacher for the Costa Rica school system. In those days a Costa Rica lady dating a ****** was looked at as a gold digger or hooker.☺

It was very unusual for someone in her postion to date a American. I had to ask her out 3 times to get a yes answer. It happened to be New Years Eve. At midnight she went home like a good CR lady. 

The rest is history!


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## Nicole Stark (Jul 22, 2009)

Catherine Gervin said:


> i'd turn them against eachother and then crush whomever it was that we'd all built up to be the leader. in my 20s i could totally get along in that pack setting of all-the-girlfriends hanging-out-together-because-all-of-our-boyfriends-were-friends.


Ha ha, holy shit!!! I thought stuff like that only happened on Jersey Shore, well and maybe Jerry Springer.


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## Lee H Sternberg (Jan 27, 2008)

Nicole Stark said:


> Ha ha, holy shit!!! I thought stuff like that only happened on Jersey Shore, well and maybe Jerry Springer.


So Nicole, are you a Springer fan?😆


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