# Balance: dog training and family time



## Jerry Lyda (Apr 4, 2006)

With men and women alike. Where do you balance your time with training and your family. The who's training thread got me to thinking. I know there are a lot of people that train dogs that are single, divorced and such. I know some will say that if the spouse had only loved training like I do then we would still be together.I think that statement is very one sided and if that's the way you really feel and it's not just an excuse then you shouldn't have every gotten married to begin with. 

To keep a long marriage and to continue to have the passion for dog training there must be balance. The same type balance with your 9 to 5 job and dog training. If you don't spend the time with the 9 to 5 then you won't have it for long either. I've had my battles with dog training and family balance. That's a balance I'm not planning on loosing. I want my cake and eat it too. So far it's working.

How do you guys feel about this type of balance?


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## Ricardo Ashton (Jun 3, 2010)

Between the kids, the bills, and the wife, I'm seriously giving some heavy consideration to moving into the kennels](*,)

But seriously, people either find a balance & make it work, or go their separate ways. No two relationships are identical, and not one relationship is flawless. I guess people just need to be honest with themselves and their partner and open to compromise.


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## catherine hardigan (Oct 12, 2009)

I'm not married and never will be... I can't imagine how difficult it must be at times. It seems like most people get married with certain requirements and expectations, making sure these are met for both people sounds like an ongoing work-in-progress. 

For me... I travel A LOT both for work and pleasure. Balancing that with hobbies, dogs, and a guy (when I'm with one) is always a challenge. But when the partner is worth it, I always seem to be able to make it happen; even if it means sacrificing some things.


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## Jane Jean (Sep 18, 2009)

My husband supports my training, encourages me too! 
Our teen-age kids however seem to resent the time and $ I spend on it. Though really, they don't want me to spend time with them, unless it is taking them shopping! 
It is hard to devote as much time as I'd like to train, and I am only working one dog. I feel guilty sometimes, and the fallout will happen when my daughter is a bit older...at 15 I need to be there for her. 
Most of the members of my training group are young, no kids, no real commitments other than training and work.


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## Harry Keely (Aug 26, 2009)

Well I spend alot of time on the road and usually out of state and sometimes out of country for a week sometimes weeks. I have a wife of ten years a 4.5 year old and a 7 week old. We make sure bills are paid spend time during the week together of course when I am around and weekends its game time and sometimes if week nights its game time, just depends on the days. I am lucky to have a wife that plays part to the dogs though and a son that plays part and hopely a daughter that will to. Heres a few pics of recent year or so alone.


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## John-Ashley Hill (Jan 5, 2011)

Having young kids that arent school age makes it easier to balance right now. But as they get older and into school, sport, activities. I don't think there is any balance. Kids and family first and foremost dog triaing get whats left. But like Harry said it makes it easier if you can get the family involved. Both my 3 and 2 yr. old know my dogs commands and hand signals and will mimic me in the back yard when doing ob. and they both love to throw a toy while I make the dogs stay until they are allowed to get the toy.


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

My wife of almost 44 yrs has always been very supportive of all my hobbies. That includes my dog training, woodworking, cars, gardening and many other various hobbies I've had along the way. 
We've always been one another's best friend in addition to all the other good stuff.


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## Sara Waters (Oct 23, 2010)

I always seemed to be comprising what I really wanted to do with my partner who seemed to think that his dreams were the most important and that I would automatically share them and support his needs, he had no interest in my interests. One day I simply got fed up and walked away to set out to do exactly what I wanted to do. He was totally shocked but I didnt care and I knew he wouldnt change. There was no turning back.

I absolutely love the freedom to do what I want to do. If I found someone who shared what I love to do great but otherwise I have no intention of compromising ever again. I love my life. I make time to spend with my nieces and close family and friends and obviously working, but otherwise my time is my own to do as much dog stuff as I want.


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## Faisal Khan (Apr 16, 2009)

My wife trains and competes in horse riding events + works 9-5. I am learning to train dogs + work 9-5. We have a 2.75 year old son who is into horses and dogs, among other things. We both ride motorcycles, fish, hunt and ski. Life is good, balance is perfect.


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## Brian Anderson (Dec 2, 2010)

Jerry my kids are all grown and on their own. My wife and I share a passion for the dogs and have been together for 30 years. That is the best of both worlds. But the truth is that they (the dogs) can rule your life and we try not to let that happen.


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## Ricardo Ashton (Jun 3, 2010)

Harry, that little DS pup looks like he's gonna turn out to be a professional menace:twisted::twisted:


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## Harry Keely (Aug 26, 2009)

Ricardo Ashton said:


> Harry, that little DS pup looks like he's gonna turn out to be a professional menace:twisted::twisted:


That was one of the girls in the litter shes up at a Liberty SCH Club now in upstate NY, Dogs name is Bella Lou and owned by Phyllis.

The little girl getting her nails done by my wife is actually Skylar A.K.A. Rowdy that is owned by David and James and handled by David's girl. ( Pink Collar getting nails done - pink Harness getting worked ).

There brother just dual certified on Monday for a PD here in SC. The others are bomb certified, ring and pd, whole litter is doing something official with the exception of one girl that is with my inlaws and we are just doing some fun bitework and ball work with, shes the equivalent of I would say a club level dog.

We ended up with a pretty nice litter that is now 1.5 years old and most have exceeded in life so far knock on wood. We would work them in pack, pairs and individually so we really got a good feel for what we were selling folks and everybody has gotten what they wanted which is nice. The mother of the litter is with a officer friend in GA and Dad is still hear with a retired couple that have a whole lot of years in dutch dogs here and cross seas.


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Jerry Lyda said:


> With men and women alike. Where do you balance your time with training and your family. The who's training thread got me to thinking. I know there are a lot of people that train dogs that are single, divorced and such. I know some will say that if the spouse had only loved training like I do then we would still be together.I think that statement is very one sided and if that's the way you really feel and it's not just an excuse then you shouldn't have every gotten married to begin with.
> 
> To keep a long marriage and to continue to have the passion for dog training there must be balance. The same type balance with your 9 to 5 job and dog training. If you don't spend the time with the 9 to 5 then you won't have it for long either. I've had my battles with dog training and family balance. That's a balance I'm not planning on loosing. I want my cake and eat it too. So far it's working.
> 
> How do you guys feel about this type of balance?



Getting that type of balance is huge . Wish I could give advice on how to do it right but that was something I could never figure out . I'm a better example of how not to do it .

I got totally into K9 handling and training . They would ask me to take on additional responsiblities and I couldn't say no . There was a time in addition to being a K9 handler where I was a Trainer , K9 SWAT member , decoy , region treasurer , ran the unit budget for dog food , pop , food , supplies , multiple year National team competitor , certifying judge , trainers commitee member . Spent my days off training with my dog and others in the unit or out of town training at seminars or problem solving other agencies' K9s or going to call outs . 

When the divorce happened I dropped almost all of that and spent most of my time making up for all the things I missed with my 3 young kids and went from preparing to take over as head trainer down the road to a regular old K9 handler counting the days till that career ends . 

Man I loved that stuff but have to admit I love spending time with my kids more . Today was Bingo's last day on the street . He's now a pet and my dog training days are over for awhile and I'm back to being a street cop . On the bright side I had 2 very good dogs and made the most out of it . I feel bad for Bingo now . Hopefully he can make the transition to pet ok . 

When I think I'm ready and can figure out the right balance I'm going to give a dog sport a try . It's too much fun just give it all up .


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## Tyree Johnson (Jun 21, 2010)

Jim Nash said:


> I feel bad for Bingo now . Hopefully he can make the transition to pet ok .



what kind of problems would you have with retiring a street dog ... do they just sometimes not transition well?


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Tyree Johnson said:


> what kind of problems would you have with retiring a street dog ... do they just sometimes not transition well?[/QUOT]
> 
> Most do fine . Some have a problem the first few weeks after getting left at home . Usually it's destructive behavior and excessive barking . Stuff like that . Going to exercise him alot before I leave for work , hopefully that helps .


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## susan tuck (Mar 28, 2006)

Peter has his sport and I have mine, and never the two shall meet. He completely understands and respects my obsession, as I do his. This is just what has worked for us for the + 40 years we have been together now. I think he's one in a billion, and I'm damn straight skippy lucky to have him. 

Usually I'm out training with the other nuts I train with at least 3, sometimes 4 days a week, and we spend most of the day training. Unfortunately for me, our coach/fearless leader took off for Belgium and between the FMBB and the Masters back in New Jersey, he won't be back until July. Luckily I have to have some stupid foot surgery so I won't go completely bonkers. Peter thinks I get a little mental when there is no training.


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## Terrasita Cuffie (Jun 8, 2008)

Hhhhmmm, mine proposed saying I have a house your dogs would love. My son was with me everywhere while he was growing up. If it wasn't safe for him, I just didn't do it. We've always juggled the kid. If I was training/trialing, hubby had him. If he was off at the antique auctions or radio or car shows, I had him. We have an unspoken on talked about understanding. I don't count his cars. He doesn't count critters. There is an imbalance though in that I've never babysat his cars. He has dogs, a cat and batch of baby ducks he's looking afterward this weekend. My son is now 16 and trust me he soooooo wants me to have a life so I can stay the he** outta his. If I need manly help with pounding posts and setting courses, they show up, get it done and then their outta there. My son's chess tournaments and music events seem to always conflict with trials. I don't miss kid events as a rule. But this weekend he is auditioning for the youth symphony and I'll be listening via cell phone while I'm standing out in the pasture. I don't know, we respect each other's hobbies and passions and don't get in the way of them. Besides if I'm off training dogs, I'm not there to nag about mowing or house repairs.


T


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## Ted Efthymiadis (Apr 3, 2009)

I'm getting married in about a month, and it's never been an issue because I train dogs all day, come home, and my dog sleeps all night until 8am the next morning because he was in the truck working with me 12 hours.

It's a perfect lifestyle, when I get home my dog sleeps and all I can think about is dinner and bedtime.


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## Timothy Stacy (Jan 29, 2009)

Still trying to figure it out Gerry! I could use some help 


Jerry Lyda said:


> With men and women alike. Where do you balance your time with training and your family. The who's training thread got me to thinking. I know there are a lot of people that train dogs that are single, divorced and such. I know some will say that if the spouse had only loved training like I do then we would still be together.I think that statement is very one sided and if that's the way you really feel and it's not just an excuse then you shouldn't have every gotten married to begin with.
> 
> To keep a long marriage and to continue to have the passion for dog training there must be balance. The same type balance with your 9 to 5 job and dog training. If you don't spend the time with the 9 to 5 then you won't have it for long either. I've had my battles with dog training and family balance. That's a balance I'm not planning on loosing. I want my cake and eat it too. So far it's working.
> 
> How do you guys feel about this type of balance?


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## Faisal Khan (Apr 16, 2009)

Ted Efthymiadis said:


> I'm getting married in about a month,


Another one bites the dust.


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## Jim Nash (Mar 30, 2006)

Ted Efthymiadis said:


> I'm getting married in about a month, and it's never been an issue because I train dogs all day, come home, and my dog sleeps all night until 8am the next morning because he was in the truck working with me 12 hours.
> 
> It's a perfect lifestyle, when I get home my dog sleeps and all I can think about is dinner and bedtime.


Good Luck .


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## Gerry Grimwood (Apr 2, 2007)

Faisal Khan said:


> Another one bites the dust.


Scrambles :razz:

http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac13/ggrimwood/DSC_6206.jpg


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## Daniel Lybbert (Nov 23, 2010)

I decoy and my wife handles. We train when we feel like it. Seems to work pretty good for us and our 2 dogs.


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## Bob Scott (Mar 30, 2006)

"I'm getting married in about a month,"

When it works there's nothing better! :wink:


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## Courtney Guthrie (Oct 30, 2007)

Jerry Lyda said:


> With men and women alike. Where do you balance your time with training and your family. The who's training thread got me to thinking. I know there are a lot of people that train dogs that are single, divorced and such. I know some will say that if the spouse had only loved training like I do then we would still be together.I think that statement is very one sided and if that's the way you really feel and it's not just an excuse then you shouldn't have every gotten married to begin with.
> 
> To keep a long marriage and to continue to have the passion for dog training there must be balance. The same type balance with your 9 to 5 job and dog training. If you don't spend the time with the 9 to 5 then you won't have it for long either. I've had my battles with dog training and family balance. That's a balance I'm not planning on loosing. I want my cake and eat it too. So far it's working.
> 
> How do you guys feel about this type of balance?



Most of the people in our club have families, their families come first and if that means they can't attend training once in awhile...then that's the way it is. They are all as dedicated as they can be but most of them have smaller children and their activities are planned around their kids' lives and things...one has grown children, the last 2 of his are getting married this year...then his wife and him will be empty-nesters and his plans are to really get back into the dog training then. 

I had been single a long time, I've started dating again and we make it work. I am young and just am not ready to settle down yet. We've been seeing each other for around 6 months, we both share common interests and then have other hobbies which the other person isn't into. It works for us. He knows and understands that the dogs come first in my life right now, just as his kids come first in his life. However, should the dogs ever pose a threat to the kids or something like that, the offending dogs would be gone. I work a 9-5 job, thankfully I work where I can take my dog with me, he stays outside in a kennel and on my breaks and lunch etc. we do some OB and stuff. 

I can say that dating and finding a balance between trying to develop a new relationship and keep up on your hobbies and work is a fine line...especially dating someone with kids...cause their kids come first and if you love them, their kids have to come first in your life as well.


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