# To make things easy...measurements please!



## Alice Bezemer

Ok so after another mine is bigger then yours discussion I felt that it might be prudent to make things a little bit easier for Topic poster and Topic reader. How to go about tackling such a feat tho ?

there are 2 kinds of discussion that take place here quit often, the well known:

-Pissing contest

and the just as popular: 

-Dickmeasuring contest

Now in order to keep things slightly sanitary I decided not to tackle the socalled pissingcontest in hopes of the men figuring out for themselves that a dickmeasuring contest is way quicker and much more sanitary and easy to prove anyway!

I would ask of all the men involved in such discussions to make life easy for us and post their measurements so that we the reader can then, when such a topic arrises, check the measurements for ourselves in order to decide who owns the more impressive penis and thereby solving the whole issue before it turns into something unmanageble. This also helps out the forum mods a lot since they can just check the stats and from there on appoint a winner !

the tools you might need are:











Thank you all for your cooperation!

(we will require actual proof of the measurements stated!)


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## Adam Rawlings

Alice,

People might open up a little if you lead off and tell us how big your penis is first.:-k


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## Alice Bezemer

Adam Rawlings said:


> Alice,
> 
> People might open up a little if you lead off and tell us how big your penis is first.:-k



Adam, 

Please dont tell me that I will have to be explaining to you the subtle differences between the male and the female body :lol:


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## Jeff Oehlsen

I must have missed that thread, did it have a misleading title or something ? 

So what you are asking for here is a bunch of pictures of male sexual organs I guess ?

As far as pissing goes, what are the rules ? Is this just the distance on a normal piss, or does after a night at the bar count as cheating ? With the wind or against the wind ?

Quote: Alice,

People might open up a little if you lead off and tell us how big your penis is first.

I was thinking the same thing. Sounds like a little envy is going on. 

We could have a "who can write the most" in the snow/dirt contest if you want.

Other than that, I would say that you missed an opportunity to join in a discussion and were not the center of attention. What thread was it that got you so emotional ?


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## shawn murace

Do we include thickness? I think that would be my strong point.


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## Jerry Cudahy

Hmm,

being a bit on the old side of life

I would have to begin Dickercise class all over again

But count me in

as the song goes

*I ain't as good as I once was*

*My how the years have flown*

*But there was a time, back in my prime*

*When I could really hold my own*

*But if you wanna fight tonight*

*Guess those boys don't look all that tough*

*I ain't as good as I once was*

*But I am as good once as I ever was*


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## Joby Becker

I can pee about 1-2 feet...

The measurement comes in at about 7.5 - 8
(cm)


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## Jeff Gasaway

It's -2 degrees out today, so chalk me up for a solid 1"


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## Howard Knauf

How about resonance? You know...the sound of piss on a flat rock.=D>


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## Ashley Campbell

This thread is a winning idea for sure Alice!

It was David Frost that said basically oh look "my dick is bigger than yours" contest in another thread. 

But hey, I'm all for this experiment.  Carry on, since I have nothing to contribute other than my gratitude and encouragement.


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## Alice Bezemer

Ashley Campbell said:


> This thread is a winning idea for sure Alice!
> 
> It was David Frost that said basically oh look "my dick is bigger than yours" contest in another thread.
> 
> But hey, I'm all for this experiment.  Carry on, since I have nothing to contribute other than my gratitude and encouragement.



:lol: Thats what brought this very fine idea into my head!

so blame Dfrost since he put it in my head


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## Nicole Stark

Jerry Cudahy said:


> Hmm,
> 
> being a bit on the old side of life
> 
> I would have to begin Dickercise class all over again


ha ha, what a funny word. Dickercise. Ashley is right though, David brought it up. He doesn't normally use words like that and in fact most of his posts are highly informative and contained. So, given his posting history here it's probably not that much of a stretch to want to give some thought to something he's said. I know I sure did. :-$


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## Guest

Alice Bezemer said:


> Ok so after another mine is bigger then yours discussion I felt that it might be prudent to make things a little bit easier for Topic poster and Topic reader. How to go about tackling such a feat tho ?
> 
> there are 2 kinds of discussion that take place here quit often, the well known:
> 
> -Pissing contest
> 
> and the just as popular:
> 
> -Dickmeasuring contest
> 
> Now in order to keep things slightly sanitary I decided not to tackle the socalled pissingcontest in hopes of the men figuring out for themselves that a dickmeasuring contest is way quicker and much more sanitary and easy to prove anyway!
> 
> I would ask of all the men involved in such discussions to make life easy for us and post their measurements so that we the reader can then, when such a topic arrises, check the measurements for ourselves in order to decide who owns the more impressive penis and thereby solving the whole issue before it turns into something unmanageble. This also helps out the forum mods a lot since they can just check the stats and from there on appoint a winner !
> 
> the tools you might need are:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you all for your cooperation!
> 
> (we will require actual proof of the measurements stated!)


So you take PM's?


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## Alice Bezemer

Jody Butler said:


> So you take PM's?


PM away!

:lol:


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## Skip Morgart

Reminds me of the punchline of the old joke: "But mom, I didn't show it all...just enough to win!".


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## Ashley Campbell

Nicole Stark said:


> ha ha, what a funny word. Dickercise. Ashley is right though, David brought it up. He doesn't normally use words like that and in fact most of his posts are highly informative and contained. So, given his posting history here it's probably not that much of a stretch to want to give some thought to something he's said. I know I sure did. :-$


That's why I remembered who said it, because it was shocking coming from DFrost - had it been Alice to begin with, I doubt we'd have noticed.

I don't see anyone stepping up to the plate here, I am disappointed thus so far.


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## Alice Bezemer

Ashley Campbell said:


> That's why I remembered who said it, because it was shocking coming from DFrost - _*had it been Alice to begin with, I doubt we'd have noticed.*_
> 
> I don't see anyone stepping up to the plate here, I am disappointed thus so far.


Im SHOCKED ! 


(hope that sounded convincing)


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## Alice Bezemer

Jody Butler said:


> So you take PM's?



Ok PM received and may I just say on behalf of all the females that inhabit this forum, better yet "The world"

THANK YOU !!! We all have always thought it was a myth but you have proven us wrong! They DO exist !

All I can say in answer to your PM Jody is:
_*
Haleluja and AMEN!

*_Thank you Jody! You made my day :mrgreen:


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## Christopher Smith

Alice Bezemer said:


> :lol: Thats what brought this very fine idea into my head!
> 
> so blame Dfrost since he put it in my head


Listen Alice, no means no! If he put it in your head and you don't want it in your head, that's a crime. Now if you like it in your head, or anywhere else for that matter, please carry on.


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## Ashley Campbell

Alice Bezemer said:


> Ok PM received and may I just say on behalf of all the females that inhabit this forum, better yet "The world"
> 
> THANK YOU !!! We all have always thought it was a myth but you have proven us wrong! They DO exist !
> 
> All I can say in answer to your PM Jody is:
> _*
> Haleluja and AMEN!
> 
> *_Thank you Jody! You made my day :mrgreen:



You mean he gave you an honest answer and 1 inch didn't equal 3 feet?


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## Alice Bezemer

Ashley Campbell said:


> You mean he gave you an honest answer and 1 inch didn't equal 3 feet?



Ow Ashley you have no idea....let me tell ya...I used to think I was an atheist but I have seen the glory and found the light and OMG im babbling! lets just say......impressive doesnt even come close!


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## Alice Bezemer

Christopher Smith said:


> Listen Alice, no means no! If he put it in your head and you don't want it in your head, that's a crime. Now if you like it in your head, or anywhere else for that matter, please carry on.


Oh look ! Boy wonder has come out to play :mrgreen:

im guessing you will be taking the pissing contest side of things coze im pretty sure they dont make rulers that are THAT small.

carry on


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## Howard Knauf

Alice Bezemer said:


> Oh look ! Boy wonder has come out to play :mrgreen:
> 
> im guessing you will be taking the pissing contest side of things coze im pretty sure they dont make rulers that are THAT small.
> 
> carry on


Ouch! That's gotta sting.


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## Christopher Smith

Alice Bezemer said:


> Oh look ! Boy wonder has come out to play :mrgreen:
> 
> im guessing you will be taking the pissing contest side of things coze im pretty sure they dont make rulers that are THAT small.
> 
> carry on


I'm try to protect you Beezy and look how you act. But I find it kind of sexy. If you keep it up I might have to let you "measure" both inches. 

But I'm going to have to defer to you expert judgment on this matter. I'm sure you've "measured" *A LOT. *


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## Christopher Smith

Howard Knauf said:


> Ouch! That's gotta sting.



Mushroom caps don't feel pain.


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## Howard Knauf

Christopher Smith said:


> Mushroom caps don't feel pain.


 Cause they spend most their time in dark, wet places.


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## Harry Keely




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## Mike Scheiber

This is embracing but Ill have to admit I'm not as young as I once was so Ill have to step closer to the urinal and not partisapate in the pissing contest.
As far as dicks go its been -10 f and -30'wind chills going on 4 days here so that measurement might be squid.
However the fact that I live and work in this climate should add some girth to my situation should it not Alice?


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## maggie fraser

Wot a load of bollocks

.....it's cold here

....it's dark here

....it's wet here

I take it all who've posted have wee willies?? =;


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## Ashley Campbell

maggie fraser said:


> Wot a load of bollocks
> 
> .....it's cold here
> 
> ....it's dark here
> 
> ....it's wet here
> 
> I take it all who've posted have wee willies?? =;


That's what I"m gathering from it. Sounds like most of them when told "give me 6 inches and make it hurt" bang her twice and punch her in the back of the head. 

Glad you've seen the light Alice...I'm ultra curious now, lol.


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## Adam Rawlings

Ashley Campbell said:


> That's what I"m gathering from it. Sounds like most of them when told "give me 6 inches and make it hurt" bang her twice and punch her in the back of the head.


The way I heard the joke was give me 12 inches and make it hurt. Ashley, by the sounds of things you married the wrong guy.


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## Ashley Campbell

Adam Rawlings said:


> The way I heard the joke was give me 12 inches and make it hurt. Ashley, by the sounds of things you married the wrong guy.


I won't dispute that.


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## Howard Knauf

Ashley Campbell said:


> I won't dispute that.



Ow! Not thats gotta hurt. Not! lol

So sorry for your luck.:lol:


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## Bob Scott

Alice you are so, SO very bad! [-X :lol: :lol: 
Happiness, for a real man is knowing his wife is satisfied/content no matter how he "measures up".....and we've been married 43 glorious (for both of us) years!  :wink:


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## Howard Knauf

Bob Scott said:


> Alice you are so, SO very bad! [-X :lol: :lol:
> Happiness, for a real man is knowing his wife is satisfied/content no matter how he "measures up".....and we've been married 43 glorious (for both of us) years!  :wink:


Easy for a man that measures up to be so philosophical eh Bob?:-D:-D


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## Bob Scott

Howard Knauf said:


> Easy for a man that measures up to be so philosophical eh Bob?:-D:-D



Sometimes philosophical is better then nuthin! :lol: :lol:


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## Ashley Campbell

I knew you were the Bob from the Enzyte commercial - that dudes wife always has a big smile, and we all know why.


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## Alice Bezemer

Bob Scott said:


> *Alice you are so, SO very bad! *[-X :lol: :lol:
> Happiness, for a real man is knowing his wife is satisfied/content no matter how he "measures up".....and we've been married 43 glorious (for both of us) years!  :wink:



Moi ? O

I have no idea why I would be considered a bad girl !


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## Christopher Jones

I can just imagine Alice's husband looking over her shoulder and saying in a gruff Dutch voice 
"Vertel dat mij u didnt slechts vraag foto's en maten van andere mens penis op dat werkingshondforum te zien"


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## Ashley Campbell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7vOPPXkqm4


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## Alice Bezemer

Christopher Smith said:


> I'm try to protect you Beezy and look how you act. But I find it kind of sexy. If you keep it up_* I might have to let you "measure" both inches. *_
> 
> But I'm going to have to defer to you expert judgment on this matter. I'm sure you've "measured" *A LOT. *


Now your just showing of, we didnt ask for the size of manboobs boy wonder....thats a completly different topic which ofcourse, in time and in your honor, will be finding its place on this fine forum.


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## Alice Bezemer

Christopher Jones said:


> I can just imagine Alice's husband looking over her shoulder and saying in a gruff Dutch voice
> "Vertel dat mij u didnt slechts vraag foto's en maten van andere mens penis op dat werkingshondforum te zien"



if my husband was to look over my shoulder his question would be....what are you talking about on that black box ? he speaks no english nor does he understand the magical workings of a computer :lol:

trust me tho...he wouldnt be in the least surprised at it...or at anything I do...


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## Bob Scott

Ashley Campbell said:


> I knew you were the Bob from the Enzyte commercial - that dudes wife always has a big smile, and we all know why.


You have no idea the crap I got from female friends when those commercials came out.....and I'm an old fart! Of course the wife would just stand there with a big, exagerated grin on her face. 
MEAN, EVIL wimmins I tell ya! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Christopher Jones

Ashley Campbell said:


> I won't dispute that.


Apparently recent scientific research has deduced that all men have the ability to reach 8 inches but the actual size reached will be determined by the womans ability and skill in bed.


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## Gerry Grimwood

Christopher Jones said:


> Apparently recent scientific research has deduced that all men have the ability to reach 8 inches but the actual size reached will be determined by the womans ability and skill in bed.


That sounds like something from the muscle car days...I only got a 6 but it performs like an 8 :razz:

How many of you can hackey sack ur ballzac ?? now there's a skill you don't see everday.


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## Ashley Campbell

Christopher Jones said:


> Apparently recent scientific research has deduced that all men have the ability to reach 8 inches but the actual size reached will be determined by the womans ability and skill in bed.


Oh hell no you aren't pawning it off on me, lol. Any mans lack of length is not directly attributed to anything I do or don't do. I'm totally awesome (I have people who can confirm this) so try again.


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## Jeff Gasaway

Ashley Campbell said:


> Oh hell no you aren't pawning it off on me, lol. Any mans lack of length is not directly attributed to anything I do or don't do. I'm totally awesome (I have people who can confirm this) so try again.


This is by far the funniest thread I have read and really made my day at work so much more fun!!!


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## Ashley Campbell

Jeff Gasaway said:


> This is by far the funniest thread I have read and really made my day at work so much more fun!!!


Go find the "Beaver" thread - that'll take up hours and it's pretty funny too.


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## Ashley Campbell

Bob Scott said:


> You have no idea the crap I got from female friends when those commercials came out.....and I'm an old fart! Of course the wife would just stand there with a big, exagerated grin on her face.
> MEAN, EVIL wimmins I tell ya! :lol: :lol: :lol:


Wait up, I just caught this.

Your wife smiled big, essentially confirming that you're like our buddy Bob in the commercials - and you call her mean?! What are you? Shy or something?


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## georgia estes

Ashley Campbell said:


> I'm totally awesome (I have people who can confirm this) so try again.


I don't, I'm a virgin.


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## Ashley Campbell

Yeah it's a big harder to say "I'm a virgin" when baby #4 is due any time...everyone stopped believing my "sat on a dirty toilet seat" story after the first 2.


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## Christopher Jones

Ashley Campbell said:


> Oh hell no you aren't pawning it off on me, lol. Any mans lack of length is not directly attributed to anything I do or don't do. I'm totally awesome (I have people who can confirm this) so try again.


You can always try that little bit harder.


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## georgia estes

Christopher Jones said:


> You can always try that little bit harder.


...and make them last 10 seconds instead of 30? C'mon now.


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## Ashley Campbell

So is that your excuse, since I don't see where you're contributed anything of size to this conversation? 
I mean we already have the "it's cold" excuse, so is this one your final answer? Blame it on the chick?  

LOL Georgia, that was my next thought...oh, it's already an 8 second ride, let's make it shorter...

Here's a video that describes it perfectly 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY


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## georgia estes

Ashley Campbell said:


> So is that your excuse, since I don't see where you're contributed anything of size to this conversation?
> I mean we already have the "it's cold" excuse, so is this one your final answer? Blame it on the chick?
> 
> LOL Georgia, that was my next thought...oh, it's already an 8 second ride, let's make it shorter...
> 
> Here's a video that describes it perfectly
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY




bahahaha... if it isn't in for at least 2 minutes it doesn't count... that's why I am a virgin


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## Ashley Campbell

georgia estes said:


> bahahaha... if it isn't in for at least 2 minutes it doesn't count... that's why I am a virgin


LMFAO...wait, sex lasts more than a minute 

I feel deprived now.


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## Christopher Jones

georgia estes said:


> ...and make them last 10 seconds instead of 30? C'mon now.


But it would be one hell of a 10 secs. Quality over quantity.


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## James Idi

A wise man once said:

"How can you compete with something designed to handle a 12 inch, 7lb 8oz baby? You can't! So if they ever give you any grief about your endowments while making love, don't worry about it. All you need to do to shut them up IMMEDIATELY is.....



























....pull out and aim a little lower."











\\/


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## todd pavlus

georgia estes said:


> bahahaha... if it isn't in for at least 2 minutes it doesn't count... that's why I am a virgin


That's what girls tell themselves so they don't feel like whores, when their plowing through a minefield of men looking for a keeper:-\"


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## Dave Colborn

It's big enough to get me off...


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## Nicole Stark

This banter is really pretty funny.


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## Christopher Jones

georgia estes said:


> bahahaha... if it isn't in for at least 2 minutes it doesn't count... that's why I am a virgin


But its total time. So 15 members of the football team x 2 minutes each = 30 minutes.
\\/ 
Just teasin ya.


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## Ashley Campbell

todd pavlus said:


> That's what girls tell themselves so they don't feel like whores, when their plowing through a minefield of men looking for a keeper:-\"


Last time I checked, it was the guy that did the "plowing"


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## Dave Colborn

Alice Bezemer said:


> Ok so after another mine is bigger then yours discussion I felt that it might be prudent to make things a little bit easier for Topic poster and Topic reader. How to go about tackling such a feat tho ?
> 
> there are 2 kinds of discussion that take place here quit often, the well known:
> 
> -Pissing contest
> 
> and the just as popular:
> 
> -Dickmeasuring contest
> 
> Now in order to keep things slightly sanitary I decided not to tackle the socalled pissingcontest in hopes of the men figuring out for themselves that a dickmeasuring contest is way quicker and much more sanitary and easy to prove anyway!
> 
> I would ask of all the men involved in such discussions to make life easy for us and post their measurements so that we the reader can then, when such a topic arrises, check the measurements for ourselves in order to decide who owns the more impressive penis and thereby solving the whole issue before it turns into something unmanageble. This also helps out the forum mods a lot since they can just check the stats and from there on appoint a winner !
> 
> the tools you might need are:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you all for your cooperation!
> 
> (we will require actual proof of the measurements stated!)



It's good to know where alice stands on how important women's input to a discussion is. Alice wrote the girls all out. Can't believe no one caught that.


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## Ashley Campbell

Dave Colborn said:


> It's good to know where alice stands on how important women's input to a discussion is. Alice wrote the girls all out. Can't believe no one caught that.


How often do you see the females on this forum having a "who has a bigger" competition?

Come on out and say it, you just want to know bra sizes now, lol.


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: Alice wrote the girls all out. Can't believe no one caught that.


Quote: 
Other than that, I would say that you missed an opportunity to join in a discussion and were not the center of attention. What thread was it that got you so emotional ?

Quit skimming. Page 1


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## Nicole Stark

Ashley Campbell said:


> How often do you see the females on this forum having a "who has a bigger" competition?


That's when you gotta read between the lines on that one. It's those who don't actually care about the size that say all they need to by not saying anything at all. I think at least someone here would understand why that might be the case.


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: How often do you see the females on this forum having a "who has a bigger" competition?

They are just lucky they are allowed to speak.

Quote: Come on out and say it, you just want to know bra sizes now, lol.

Uhh, you guys are dog chicks. No one really wants to know, or look.

Thought I would take it easy on you. : )


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## Dave Colborn

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Quote: Alice wrote the girls all out. Can't believe no one caught that.
> 
> 
> Quote:
> Other than that, I would say that you missed an opportunity to join in a discussion and were not the center of attention. What thread was it that got you so emotional ?
> 
> Quit skimming. Page 1


Jeff, and you were talking about my comprehension...Where does what you said look like what you quoted me as saying? Small words big fella. Use them. Use your words. 

Although I did get a little smoked on the whole threshold thing.


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## Ashley Campbell

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Quote: How often do you see the females on this forum having a "who has a bigger" competition?
> 
> They are just lucky they are allowed to speak.
> 
> Quote: Come on out and say it, you just want to know bra sizes now, lol.
> 
> Uhh, you guys are dog chicks. No one really wants to know, or look.
> 
> Thought I would take it easy on you. : )


Lol, you're just offended because you don't "measure up". It's ok Jeff, it's nothing to be ashamed of, just I wouldn't show anyone if I were you.


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## Nicole Stark

Ashley Campbell said:


> Lol, you're just offended because you don't "measure up". It's ok Jeff, it's nothing to be ashamed of, just I wouldn't show anyone if I were you.


If it's anything like the rest of him, heck you might just be surprised. Jeff's pretty much a giant.


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## Ashley Campbell

That means next to nothing for sure. Let's just say my ex is about Jeff's height and size and not all anatomy is created equally.


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: Lol, you're just offended because you don't "measure up". It's ok Jeff, it's nothing to be ashamed of, just I wouldn't show anyone if I were you.

I have shown it many times, in many nightclubs, but never for free. I made a lot of money doing so. 

In return, I volley this, after 4 kids, no one is going to pay to see yours. HA HA


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## Ashley Campbell

Sorry, my shit's still in good shape, no need to tie a board to your ass so you don't fall in here. Too bad I don't fit the stereotypical fat ass army wife or that just *might* apply.


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: Although I did get a little smoked on the whole threshold thing.

I still haven't really figured that out. The definition is all fine and dandy, then you get a dog that catches birds out of the air, has rid the neighborhood of squirrels, and cats and won't chase a tug for shit. 

There goes the idea behind prey drive.


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## Christopher Jones

Ashley Campbell said:


> Sorry, my shit's still in good shape, no need to tie a board to your ass so you don't fall in here. Too bad I don't fit the stereotypical fat ass army wife or that just *might* apply.


 You didnt go to a private girls school did you?......8-[


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## Ashley Campbell

Just for Jeff,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaROUIS3Iq4&feature=related


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## Dave Colborn

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Quote: Although I did get a little smoked on the whole threshold thing.
> 
> I still haven't really figured that out. The definition is all fine and dandy, then you get a dog that catches birds out of the air, has rid the neighborhood of squirrels, and cats and won't chase a tug for shit.
> 
> There goes the idea behind prey drive.



I think that's exactly the idea behind prey drive. Some don't want to fake it after getting the real thing. But what does that have to do with thresholds?


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## Ashley Campbell

Christopher Jones said:


> You didnt go to a private girls school did you?......8-[


No, Catholic school...


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: I think that's exactly the idea behind prey drive. Some don't want to fake it after getting the real thing. But what does that have to do with thresholds?

That is what I am trying to figure out. They have a low threshold for moving objects, but only live ones. The tug whipping back and forth they only sort of care about. Why the different threshold ?


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: Just for Jeff,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaROUIS3Iq4&feature=related

But who was getting pussy, and who wasn't ?? Scuba Steve went home blue.


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## Ashley Campbell

Scuba Steve banged the "You want me make breakfast" chick, though she was nearly as bad as Old balls dude. It's a tie.


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## Gerry Grimwood

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHRAl0-5f44


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## Jeff Oehlsen

Happy Gilmore wasn't the topic of discussion, Scuba Steve was denied pussy. No tie, I still am champion, and with one hand tied behind my back. HA HA


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## Ashley Campbell

I was wondering if I got the movies mixed up...I haven't seen either in a long time.

Either way, old balls...gross! But I'll give you that old wrinkly sac guy got a young piece of gold digger ass and ended up working at like whopper flopper.


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## Jeff Oehlsen

One of my favorite all time quotes was from Jack Nicholson who was at a party when a really really hot girl of maybe 24 came up and asked him if he wanted to dance.

He replied "wrong verb".


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## kendell jones

Jeff Oehlsen said:


> Uhh, you guys are dog chicks. No one really wants to know, or look.


Shame on you, only like 98% of dog chicks are heinous creatures.[-(


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## Ashley Campbell

kendell jones said:


> Shame on you, only like 98% of dog chicks are heinous creatures.[-(


LOL! I thought that only applied to like the "professional trainers" at agility clubs and Petsmart, and not so much as heinous but morbidly obese.


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## kendell jones

Ashley Campbell said:


> LOL! I thought that only applied to like the "professional trainers" at agility clubs and Petsmart, and not so much as heinous but morbidly obese.


10 extra points if they own a sheltie.


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## Ashley Campbell

I think you just described someone I know...


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## kendell jones

I think I just described every person at my old club...:roll:

Needless to say, I wasn't exactly a favorite around there


----------



## maggie fraser

Off topic folks.

Back to dicks.... .


----------



## Ashley Campbell




----------



## Adam Rawlings

I was hoping this thread was going to turtle like a dick in cold water. Oh well.


----------



## maggie fraser

Adam Rawlings said:


> I was hoping this thread was going to turtle like a dick in cold water. Oh well.


Why would you hope that then??


----------



## Ashley Campbell

Nobody wants to see an innie instead of an outtie!


----------



## Adam Rawlings

maggie fraser said:


> Why would you hope that then??


I just figured you gals had played with the dick enough and it was time to put it away.


----------



## maggie fraser

Adam Rawlings said:


> I just figured you gals had played with the dick enough and it was time to put it away.


 
You are kidding right?? You poor boy!


----------



## Ashley Campbell

You can get tired of it?


----------



## georgia estes

Ashley Campbell said:


> You can get tired of it?


Not at 30 seconds a night.


----------



## Gerry Grimwood

I was wondering, while you ladies are having this discussion tonite is there any chance you might start brushing each others hair or possibly a shoulder massage and a back stretch ???

Just for like 10-20 seconds maybe ??


----------



## Mike Scheiber

Gerry Grimwood said:


> I was wondering, while you ladies are having this discussion tonite is there any chance you might start brushing each others hair or possibly a shoulder massage and a back stretch ???
> 
> Just for like 10-20 seconds maybe ??


----------



## Ashley Campbell

georgia estes said:


> Not at 30 seconds a night.


Sorry, I forget these things, 9 months into a deployment and all that...


----------



## Michelle Reusser

OMG this shit is rich! Somebody needs to tell my husband I'm fat and heinous, so he will leave me the hell alone. Kinda embarrassing to tell peeps your pregnant...again, when your last kids only 7 mos old. Shouldn't I have been too tired for this to happen? :-$

6 inches and make it hurt! LMAO 6 inches needs to stay zipped up. Who gets undressed for that? [-X


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## georgia estes

Finally, the Working Dick Forum gets interesting.


----------



## Gerry Grimwood

You start out like this, you end up like this.. :-s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5tyRTyB3wo&feature=related


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## Doug Zaga

When size matters...use the other one!


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## Nicole Stark

Doug Zaga said:


> When size matters...use the other one!


Looks like an experiment gone horribly wrong. Who was it that put up that blob like, silicone injected dick video a while back? That thing was freaking gross!!


----------



## Mike Scheiber

Weather has broken were out of the deep freeze things are looking up


----------



## Jeff Oehlsen

Quote: Finally, the Working Dick Forum gets interesting.

Or there is something that you actually know about on the forum for once. HA HA


----------



## Faisal Khan

Gerry Grimwood said:


> I was wondering, while you ladies are having this discussion tonite is there any chance you might start brushing each others hair or possibly a shoulder massage and a back stretch ???
> 
> Just for like 10-20 seconds maybe ??


5-10 seconds? any takers?


----------



## Michelle Reusser

Faisal Khan said:


> 5-10 seconds? any takers?[/QUOT
> 
> Sorry guys, no dickie, no chickie! :roll: Men and their fantasies. Why do woman not drool over 2 dudes? Eck, I just puked in my mouth a little.


----------



## Christopher Jones

Michelle Kehoe said:


> Faisal Khan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 5-10 seconds? any takers?[/QUOT
> 
> Why do woman not drool over 2 dudes? Eck, I just puked in my mouth a little.
> 
> 
> 
> Hey, I know WAY more girls who have the odd fling with another girl than I know gay guys.
> A far, far higher % of women would have played around with another girl than guys play around with another guy.
> And two chicks just look way cooler than two dudes.
Click to expand...


----------



## Joby Becker

ok..

I went to the heath facility to help out a disabled friend with his workout.

It is one of those clubs with a lot of old and disabled people, it is like a rehab place..

We did our workouts, went into the locker room...

It is one of those places with big whirlpool in the locker room...

My friend wanted to get in and relax a bit, so I helped him in, and I climbed in too...

It was great....relaxing...

Then a group of 4 old geezers comes in the locker room, and they shower, and then they all decide to get in the whirlpool too, which is fine becuase it was one of those big ones...so nobody gets their personal space violated...

The uncool part was they all came in butt naked...that was fine in itself, whatever, it is a men's locker room....

It was all cool until a couple of the old guys started relaxing, stretching out and whatever, talking away.....

Then all of the sudden I saw the wierdest/grossest thing I ever saw...

Two of the old guys ballsacks floated up to the surface, and thier balls were floating and swirling around, covering an area of the surface that I previously thought would be impossible, it was like their balls were not attached to their bodies, bobbing and swirling all over with the current...

I looked at my friend, he started laughing, and could not stop..(he has habit of laughing too hard and passing out, he is stroke victim) he eventually passed out and I had to slap him back into the real world...

those damn things looked like aliens, and had a mind of there own...
The men offered to help me get my friend out of the whirlpool, we declined, did not want their wandering balls to attack us....


----------



## Doug Zaga

Michelle Kehoe said:


> Sorry guys, no dickie, no chickie! :roll: Men and their fantasies. Why do woman not drool over 2 dudes? Eck, I just puked in my mouth a little.


I was going to hard edit this one.... :razz:


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Adam Rawlings said:


> I was hoping this thread was going to turtle like a dick in cold water. Oh well.



First you want me to show mine and now its doing a turtle ? you have some serious anatomy issues Adam :lol: are you sure you even know what goes where and how to use it ? coze im telling ya....its not sposed to go anywhere near turtles !


----------



## Alice Bezemer

maggie fraser said:


> Off topic folks.
> 
> Back to dicks.... .



atta girl !

:mrgreen:


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Mike Scheiber said:


> Weather has broken were out of the deep freeze things are looking up



keep us posted Mike :mrgreen:


----------



## Doug Zaga

Alice... http://www.i18nguy.com/l10n/shoes-anatomy.html


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Doug Zaga said:


> Alice... http://www.i18nguy.com/l10n/shoes-anatomy.html



Doug, 

the dream of all men:










the sad reality :











btw whats your shoesize then :lol:


----------



## Doug Zaga

Damn Alice...is that a Dutchie?


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Doug Zaga said:


> Damn Alice...is that a Dutchie?



Dunno cant see the feet :lol:

but judging on the beergut on the dickless wonder id say 100% grade a USA Flab


----------



## Michelle Reusser

Actually I just read a study that reported 19% of woman and 37% of men surveyed, had acknowledged having at least one orgasim with a partner of the same sex. 

You dudes just like to focus on what you "wish" to be true. :-\"


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Michelle Kehoe said:


> Actually I just read a study that reported 19% of woman and 37% of men surveyed, had acknowledged having at least one orgasim with a partner of the same sex.
> 
> *You dudes just like to focus on what you "wish" to be true.* :-\"


In all departments :lol:


----------



## maggie fraser

"btw whats your shoesize then :lol:"

I think there is more to that, what d'ya think Alice??

Small feet = small one

Small hands = very small one

Is that a pretty good rule of thumb :-D.....Alice ??


----------



## Doug Zaga

Mich...WTF is a ORGASIM? Is that big pregnant girl ....


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Mich...WTF is a ORGASIM? Is that big pregnant girl ....


Doug what's your shoe size, you seem game ?? :-D


----------



## Doug Zaga

Mags...big.


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Mags...big.


Size??? US or euro but no fibbing mind.


----------



## Doug Zaga

Ok, have fun. 13 sometimes 14 USA. Oh..

btw I have big hands not sure if this helps Alice's scientific study?


----------



## Ashley Campbell

Joby, thanks for the old man balls visual...I know you're scarred for life, but you've scarred my imagination beyond belief.


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Doug Zaga said:


> Mich...WTF is a ORGASIM? Is that big pregnant girl ....



:lol: funny ! specialy since even if spelled correct most males still dont have fk all clue on how to give one to a woman....getting one...sureeeeee....returning the gesture...not so much huh :lol:


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Ok, have fun. 13 sometimes 14 USA. Oh..
> 
> btw I have big hands not sure if this helps Alice's scientific study?


I would say it does, you can stay :wink:.


----------



## Alice Bezemer

maggie fraser said:


> "btw whats your shoesize then :lol:"
> 
> I think there is more to that, what d'ya think Alice??
> 
> Small feet = small one
> 
> Small hands = very small one
> 
> Is that a pretty good rule of thumb :-D.....Alice ??


(had to ammend post since I noticed actual measurements to late)

I love the rule of thumb tho...and so accurate !

But let us not get all dissapointed by the male genital size sisters...lets remember that even a small brush does eventualy paint a wall....even if it takes a hell of a long time :lol:


----------



## Doug Zaga

Not true...10 to 15 are reasonable.


----------



## maggie fraser

Alice Bezemer said:


> I love the rule of thumb tho...and so accurate !
> 
> *I agree*
> 
> But let us not get all dissapointed by the male genital size sisters...lets remember that even a small brush does eventualy paint a wall....even if it takes a hell of a long time :lol:


Who cares for a wee brush that takes all night.....don't care for that lol. Anyone who says size doesn't matter is lying .


----------



## Doug Zaga

Alice Bezemer said:


> I think he didnt answer and is being evasive as hell...another male trait to cover up that which man does not wish to speak about :lol:
> 
> I love the rule of thumb tho...and so accurate !
> 
> But let us not get all dissapointed by the male genital size sisters...lets remember that even a small brush does eventualy paint a wall....even if it takes a hell of a long time :lol:


Oh Mags... I have never had to brag about it.

Just a question, at your age, do you have to use a lubricant or do you still produce ....:twisted:


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Doug Zaga said:


> Oh Mags... I have never had to brag about it.
> 
> Just a question, at your age, do you have to use a lubricant or do you still produce ....:twisted:


LMFAO.....BUSTED! when cornered shift subject...

**** adding to mental list of new topics that mind find their way onto WDF at some point


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Oh Mags... I have never had to brag about it.
> 
> Just a question, at your age, do you have to use a lubricant or do you still produce ....:twisted:


No lubricants required this end Doug, I'm a naturally well oiled machine! How about you?


----------



## Doug Zaga

Alice Bezemer said:


> LMFAO.....I like bg NUTS! when hanging low touch them...
> 
> **** adding to mental list of new topics that mind find their way onto WDF at some point


 :mrgreen:


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Oh Mags... I have never had to brag about it.
> 
> Just a question, at your age, do you have to use a lubricant or do you still produce ....:twisted:


I just remembered Doug, you like to do the counselling :wink: for the post menopausal, don't you? Expect you'll know ALL about lubricants.


----------



## Doug Zaga

maggie fraser said:


> No lubricants required this end Doug, I'm a naturally well oiled machine! How about you?


....doesn't work it anymore?


----------



## Doug Zaga

maggie fraser said:


> I just remembered Doug, you like to do the counselling :wink: for the post menopausal, don't you? Expect you'll know ALL about lubricants.


Just trying to help out Da' Old Ladies.


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Doug Zaga said:


> Just trying to help out Da' Old Ladies.



said the spring chicken right doug ? :lol:


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> ....even the best lubricants don't work with me anymore!


Now, that doesn't surprise me a whole lot for some reason!


----------



## Doug Zaga

Alice Bezemer said:


> I like to choke the chicken doug :lol:


Alice...?


----------



## Doug Zaga

maggie fraser said:


> Now, at my age I tend to use straight lard!


Oh my Mags. How do you clean it after?


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Oh my Mags. How do you clean it after?


Now Doug, you're obviously feeling a tad under pressure...you know, you an' the ole dears you like to hang out with but.....we don't use lard in this part of the world, I believe things are just a little more sophisticated. You really need to stretch for something a little more edible.


----------



## Alice Bezemer

maggie fraser said:


> Now Doug, you're obviously feeling a tad under pressure...you know, you an' the ole dears you like to hang out with but.....we don't use lard in this part of the world, I believe things are just a little more sophisticated. You really need to stretch for something a little more edible.


or inventive :lol:


----------



## Doug Zaga

Alice Bezemer said:


> or inventive :lol:


Well Mags says size matters and she is a tad old and things change andmaybe dry up so lard would be reasonable, yes?


----------



## Ashley Campbell

Maybe lard is a bit much at this stage, but a good can of spray PAM


----------



## Alice Bezemer

Doug Zaga said:


> Well Mags says size matters and she is a tad old and things change andmaybe dry up so lard would be reasonable, yes?



depending if theres size there to actualy need lard to begin with ?

hmmm maybe :razz:


----------



## Doug Zaga

Ashley Campbell said:


> Maybe lard is a bit much at this stage, but a good can of spray PAM



Anything to help out Mags...would that be EVOO Or canola...definitely non-stick for Magster!


----------



## Ashley Campbell

EVOO is healthier to eat, I don't know about other applications though. If you check a vet supply store, they sell 5 gal buckets of KY


----------



## Doug Zaga

Ashley Campbell said:


> EVOO is healthier to eat, I don't know about other applications though. If you check a vet supply store, they sell 5 gal buckets of KY


Eat it??? Yikes that would be scary lot of miles on it!!! :twisted:


----------



## maggie fraser

Doug Zaga said:


> Well Mags says size matters and she is a tad old and things change andmaybe dry up so lard would be reasonable, yes?


 
Ok Doug, just for the record here, I'm in my forties. I believe you too are in your forties??? Now, I've seen some pretty old forties odd folks (reckon you must be one of those), and I've known some very emm...youthlike forties somethings. You've been hanging with pensioners it sounds like....and you're quite liking it by all accounts!


----------



## Doug Zaga

Mags singing Alejandro!! :mrgreen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U6hMk6WMKI


----------



## Michelle Reusser

Doug Zaga said:


> Mich...WTF is a ORGASIM? Is that big pregnant girl ....


Nice deflection, concentrating on a typo. Still doesn't make the facts go away. You guys get a little exctracurricular in the locker room more than I ever cared to ponder.


----------



## Gerry Grimwood

maggie fraser said:


> Ok Doug, just for the record here, I'm in my forties.


I have socks your age.


----------



## kendell jones

Gerry Grimwood said:


> I have socks your age.


jesus, my parents aren't much older than your socks.


----------



## Mike Scheiber

Doug Zaga said:


> Mags singing Alejandro!! :mrgreen:
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U6hMk6WMKI



I just sat down at my computer for a little WDF entertainment and suddenly have been taken to place that Ive never been before. Only thing I can compare it to was the alien abduction that I experienced in my late teens after taking 3 hits of Chocolate Mescaline. WTF Doug how do you know of these places


----------



## Doug Zaga

Mike Scheiber said:


> I just sat down at my computer for a little WDF entertainment and suddenly have been taken to place that Ive never been before. Only thing I can compare it to was the alien abduction that I experienced in my late teens after taking 3 hits of Chocolate Mescaline. WTF Doug how do you know of these places


Mike I thought it was star wars acid?


----------



## Mike Scheiber

Doug Zaga said:


> Mike I thought it was star wars acid?


No Star Wars back then 2001 Space Odyssey


----------



## Christopher Jones

Doug, Maggie needed to switch from lub to super glue a number of years ago. :twisted:


----------



## Christopher Jones

Joby Becker said:


> ok..
> 
> We did our workouts, went into the locker room...
> 
> It is one of those places with big whirlpool in the locker room...
> 
> My friend wanted to get in and relax a bit, so I helped him in, and I climbed in too...
> 
> Then a group of 4 old geezers comes in the locker room, and they shower, and then they all decide to get in the whirlpool too, they all came in butt naked...
> a couple of the old guys started relaxing, stretching out and whatever


Dude, you know this now makes you gay dont you?


----------



## Adam Rawlings

Alice Bezemer said:


> First you want me to show mine and now its doing a turtle ? you have some serious anatomy issues Adam :lol: are you sure you even know what goes where and how to use it ? coze im telling ya....its not sposed to go anywhere near turtles !


Hey I skipped to much school so I didn't learn there and my parents never had "that talk" with me. It's tough having to figure it all out trying to watch soft porn on the scrambled channels as a kid. Don't worry I had it all figured out by the time I was 30.:-D


----------



## maggie fraser

Christopher Jones said:


> Doug, Maggie needed to switch from lub to super glue a number of years ago. :twisted:


Who rattled your cage? Wee willie have we?


----------



## maggie fraser

Gerry Grimwood said:


> I have socks your age.


Good condition??


----------



## Gerry Grimwood

maggie fraser said:


> Good condition??


All my shit's in good condition Maggie :razz:

http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac13/ggrimwood/DSC_4838.jpg


----------



## maggie fraser

Gerry Grimwood said:


> All my shit's in good condition Maggie :razz:
> 
> http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac13/ggrimwood/DSC_4838.jpg


 
Gerry, what's with the dog pics .

I reckoned all your shit would be in good condition ;-), that's kinda why I asked. There's nothing quite like something with a little history and longevity that's been taken well care of, something the yung uns have no cloo about!


----------



## maggie fraser

Gerry? You off to bed early _again_ tonight? It's five in the morning here, I've been staying up so's we can conduct and build a relationship here but you're not helping much!


----------



## Mike Scheiber

maggie fraser said:


> Gerry, what's with the dog pics .
> 
> I reckoned all your shit would be in good condition ;-), that's kinda why I asked. There's nothing quite like something with a little history and longevity that's been taken well care of, something the yung uns have no cloo about!


Prolly good a pic of the dog went up I didn't want to look till someone else had a look see.


----------



## Mike Scheiber

maggie fraser said:


> Gerry? You off to bed early _again_ tonight? It's five in the morning here, I've been staying up so's we can conduct and build a relationship here but you're not helping much!


What time you start work


----------



## maggie fraser

Mike Scheiber said:


> What time you start work


I was kidding a wee bit about it being five in the morning.....it isn't really, it's actually just about midnight. I was just making a point.....it does irritate me sometimes when he plays hard to get like this.


----------



## Gerry Grimwood

maggie fraser said:


> I was kidding a wee bit about it being five in the morning.....it isn't really, it's actually just about midnight. I was just making a point.....it does irritate me sometimes when he plays hard to get like this.


I'm really sorry, I was reading your reply and leaned over to pull up my argyle socks and saw a big stain on my Spiderman jamys which turned out to be lasagna which made me hungry and I had to go get something to eat, which in turn made me really sleepy..we'll have to do this another day


----------



## Doug Zaga

maggie fraser said:


> I was kidding a wee bit about it being five in the morning.....it isn't really, it's actually just about midnight. I was just making a point.....it does irritate me sometimes when he plays hard to get like this.


Magster.... a nod's as guid as a wink tae a blind horse


----------



## Chris McDonald

I just flipped through a few pages of this thread I have no idea what it is all about. Can someone sum it up for me in a sentence or two? Thank you


----------



## Ashley Campbell

Chris McDonald said:


> I just flipped through a few pages of this thread I have no idea what it is all about. Can someone sum it up for me in a sentence or two? Thank you


In another thread, DFrost made the comment of "oh look it's a my dick is bigger than yours". Alice asked for measurements - typical derailment insued. 

That's pretty much the cliffnotes from this thread, nothing but ****ery.


----------



## Mike Scheiber

Chris McDonald said:


> I just flipped through a few pages of this thread I have no idea what it is all about. Can someone sum it up for me in a sentence or two? Thank you


Make your self a drink or twist one up and start reading its full of ups and downs in's and out's


----------



## Chris McDonald

Im half Irish im outa here


----------



## jeremy anderson

Ashley Campbell said:


> In another thread, DFrost made the comment of "oh look it's a my dick is bigger than yours". Alice asked for measurements - typical derailment insued.
> 
> That's pretty much the cliffnotes from this thread, nothing but ****ery.


Does she want pics for proof or just the measurements?


----------



## Ashley Campbell

jeremy anderson said:


> Does she want pics for proof or just the measurements?


Pics or you're lying


----------



## jeremy anderson

Ashley Campbell said:


> Pics or you're lying


Check the text u just got


----------



## Ashley Campbell

God how I love text messaging


----------



## jeremy anderson

Ashley Campbell said:


> God how I love text messaging


& I am the new forum Admin. \\/


----------



## Megan Berry

Joby Becker said:


> Two of the old guys ballsacks floated up to the surface, and thier balls were floating and swirling around, covering an area of the surface that I previously thought would be impossible, it was like their balls were not attached to their bodies, bobbing and swirling all over with the current...



Am I the only one that is reminded of the movie "National Lampoon's: Van Wilder", when he is taking the bubble bath with the bulldog with the huge nuts that float? lol.


----------



## Hans Akerbakk

Well Alice since the proper way to measure a dick was never discussed .
Let us use take 10 inches as a example, this may sound impressive.... but the number can be easily reached by adding 4 1/2 inches out, 1 inch across, and 4 1/2 inches back, total 10 inches .

p.s. I'm 13 feet tall:^o


----------

