# Online Dating and Marriage



## Lee H Sternberg

I've recently met 2 different honeymoon couples, at the motel here in Seattle, who met online. When I thought about it I know a couple of others who met the same way. In fact one of my wife's close friends met her husband online. 

They have been happily married now for 7 years and have a 5year old son. One of the newlywed wives I met at the motel here was from Ireland who married a guy from Seattle. Both of these couples say they started doing this online stuff out of curiosity and over a period of time was attracted to someone.

I wonder what statistics are available that indicate the longevity of these type relationships. I'm a old guy so this is kind of new and strange to me. I don't personally have anything against it.

Whatever cranks your chain I guess!


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## Jeff Threadgill

My cousin just got married two weeks ago. He met his wife on a Christian dating site. He seems happy, she seems like a nice woman. Hopefully everything goes great.


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## Timothy Stacy

Lee H Sternberg said:


> Whatever cranks your chain I guess!


\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/ Nicely put Lee


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## Selena van Leeuwen

Dick and I met online :razz: not on a dating site though, on the KNPV forum. That was in 2003 when I got my mali Furie. I was training IPO and exploring to switch venue. We met eachother IRL on august 30th that year on a forum meeting. After the meeting we started chatting on msn, we got a relationship in october.
On the next august 30th is our 5 yr marriage anniversary


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## Anne Vaini

I don't know anything about statistics. 

I was recently divorced (2008) and on a mission to date 50 guys to prove dating is a waste of time and spend the rest of my life happily single. The IRL dating was a waste of time. Ever called off a date 1/2 way through? Yup! I have! :lol:

I tried an online dating site so I could sort through the guys first to save time and energy.

I've been with #26 for a year and half and waiting for a diamond ring. :mrgreen: I should be careful! He is a member here (but I'm 99.9% sure he doesn't read the boards anymore.) :lol:

I think relationship success has more to do with knowing WHO YOU ARE, and knowing the difference between what you want and what you need.


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## Chris Michalek

Anne Vaini said:


> I think relationship success has more to do with knowing WHO YOU ARE, and knowing the difference between what you want and what you need.



I claim to be no expert in this matter but IMO I believe relationship success comes from transparency. I have no secrets between me and my wife. I don't care if she reads, this board, I don't care if she reads my email etc... I fully subscribe to, if I can't do it in front of my gal then I shouldn't be doing it. That level of transparency is what really cements trust.

I also do all of the house work minus laundry and I cook so perhaps that has more to do with our success than anything else.


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## leslie cassian

Being 40+ and single sucks. Not as badly as being stuck in a bad relationship, but it would be nice to meet someone. I'm just not sure how to do that anymore... Most of my friends are married already and the kind of group socializing I did when I was younger just doesn't seem to happen anymore. (When did I get so old and boring?) I don't go to church, don't meet people through my work, don't go to bars (well, not very often) and my hobby (dogs) doesn't seem to present much of an opportunity to meet available dates, so internet dating seems to be one of the few options I can come up with to connect with someone. Not that I've had much luck, but I'm willing to try.


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## Annika Friberg

leslie cassian said:


> Being 40+ and single sucks. Not as badly as being stuck in a bad relationship, but it would be nice to meet someone. I'm just not sure how to do that anymore... Most of my friends are married already and the kind of group socializing I did when I was younger just doesn't seem to happen anymore. (When did I get so old and boring?) I don't go to church, don't meet people through my work, don't go to bars (well, not very often) and my hobby (dogs) doesn't seem to present much of an opportunity to meet available dates, so internet dating seems to be one of the few options I can come up with to connect with someone. Not that I've had much luck, but I'm willing to try.


this was my friend's situation plus she was working long and irregular hours as a researcher. She went on eHarmony (of all places!) and met a guy a couple of years ago. They're getting married this fall - perfect for each other.

I actually think that meeting online dating might make relationships more stable. You'll still meet in person eventually and fall in love but you're able to become friends and think about things like compatibility BEFORE you fall head over heels for someone.


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## sam wilks

young love is the best love, got married at 18. august 12th is our 5th year and we have two kids as well. I will be retired just a couple years after those rascals are out of my house.:-D


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## Don Turnipseed

Chris Michalek said:


> I claim to be no expert in this matter but IMO I believe relationship success comes from transparency. That level of transparency is what really cements trust.


Transparency, Transparency. Darn....that has a familiar ring to it. Think that word was used in the last election by your president. I have to guess it means "clearly" one give and the other takes.


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## Don Turnipseed

Anne is right, you have to know yourself. After being married three times, I found out, to me, it just wasn't worth the aggravation all the mood swings caused. I been single for about 20 years and have had a lady friend for about 15 of those years. I think the world of....but I am not getting married and she has her own house about 70 miles from here. When she has overstayed her welcome, I simply ask her when she is planning on going home. Normally she can tell without me saying anything. I am a firm believer that absence makes the heart grow fonder and I am all for a lot of absence for that very reason. LOL I simply don't have the time nor the patience to put up with anyone under the same roof 24/7.....and I know it.


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## Chris Michalek

sam wilks said:


> young love is the best love, got married at 18. august 12th is our 5th year and we have two kids as well. I will be retired just a couple years after those rascals are out of my house.:-D



so how does young love compare to old love?

Just wait until year 7.


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## Anne Vaini

Chris Michalek said:


> I claim to be no expert in this matter but IMO I believe relationship success comes from transparency. I have no secrets between me and my wife. I don't care if she reads, this board, I don't care if she reads my email etc... I fully subscribe to, if I can't do it in front of my gal then I shouldn't be doing it. That level of transparency is what really cements trust.
> 
> I also do all of the house work minus laundry and I cook so perhaps that has more to do with our success than anything else.


hmmm.... I should have said "dating" not "a relationship"

Transparency is great, but for God's sake, CLOSE THE BATHROOM DOOR!


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## maggie fraser

Chris Michalek said:


> I also do all of the house work minus laundry and I cook so perhaps that has more to do with our success than anything else.


 
I think you could be on to something there....


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## Joby Becker

My mom passed away a few yrs ago...my dad got on Eharmony and got married about 6 months after he got on there, at 75 yrs old lol

Almost every unmarried person I know ( and some married people I know) has gone a date that was spawned from the internet, whether an actual dating site or not...


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## Gerry Grimwood

leslie cassian said:


> Being 40+ and single sucks.


Sometimes you wait for yrs for a setup like that..then you can't use it ](*,)


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## Carol Boche

Marraige is overrated...LOL 

Doug and I have been together for 11 yrs (this Sept) and both of us went through really sh**ty divorces. If we get married, we do, and if we don't, that is fine too. 
For us it is just a piece of paper and alot of BS if it goes bad. 

Plus, I can use ring money for a puppy or something. 

He is a workaholic and I am almost one.....which is great. When we have time together it is really fun and we have a great time, but a lot of the time, he does what he wants and needs to do and I do the same.....we both trust each other and don't really sweat the small stuff. 

I cook, clean and take care of him and work to support most of my habit (dogs) and he works and takes care of me and helps me if I ask. I am spoiled so I spoil him back. Works out great.


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## Bob Scott

Chris Michalek said:


> so how does young love compare to old love?
> 
> Just wait until year 7.



With "old love" you both have each other figured out and are both happy with the outcome. Simple! :wink:


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## Joby Becker

Bob Scott said:


> With "old love" you both have each other figured out and are both happy with the outcome. Simple! :wink:


young love can falter at times...then the unknown and "missed out" creep in...


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## Chris Michalek

are you sayin you're single? How YOOOU doin? :wink:






Carol Boche said:


> Marraige is overrated...LOL
> 
> Doug and I have been together for 11 yrs (this Sept) and both of us went through really sh**ty divorces. If we get married, we do, and if we don't, that is fine too.
> For us it is just a piece of paper and alot of BS if it goes bad.
> 
> Plus, I can use ring money for a puppy or something.
> 
> He is a workaholic and I am almost one.....which is great. When we have time together it is really fun and we have a great time, but a lot of the time, he does what he wants and needs to do and I do the same.....we both trust each other and don't really sweat the small stuff.
> 
> I cook, clean and take care of him and work to support most of my habit (dogs) and he works and takes care of me and helps me if I ask. I am spoiled so I spoil him back. Works out great.


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## Joby Becker

chris the proper internet term is:
"In a relationship"
not single, although I have had good success dating girls that "are in a relationship"


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## Chris Michalek

Joby Becker said:


> chris the proper internet term is:
> "In a relationship"
> not single, although I have had good success dating girls that "are in a relationship"



I'm a musician. Everybody is single to me. 

Which reminds of a time I was playing in Sacramento. I was talking to some random chick who was into the music. She asked if I had any kids. My response was "Probably...I'm a musician." That REALLY turned her off. HA HA HA.


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## Joby Becker

Chris Michalek said:


> I'm a musician. Everybody is single to me.
> 
> Which reminds of a time I was playing in Sacramento. I was talking to some random chick who was into the music. She asked if I had any kids. My response was "Probably...I'm a musician." That REALLY turned her off. HA HA HA.


that IS hilarious...I have said it before...without the musician part...but I got a laugh


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## Carol Boche

Chris Michalek said:


> are you sayin you're single? How YOOOU doin? :wink:


LOL Chris....I haven't considered myself single in the last 8 yrs....the first 2 yrs, maybe :smile::smile:.....but he treats me pretty dang great and we get along really well.


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## Tyree Johnson

Young hot cable guy here.... If anybodys interested!


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## Chris Michalek

Tyree Johnson said:


> Young hot cable guy here.... If anybodys interested!


I'm always interested in new experiences....where do you live? :-s

Carol, can we borrow your strippers' pole? Thanks


I hope you like extra mayo...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hne5a_jkdyw


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## Carol Boche

Chris Michalek said:


> I'm always interested in new experiences....where do you live? :-s
> 
> Carol, can we borrow your strippers' pole? Thanks
> 
> 
> I hope you like extra mayo...
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hne5a_jkdyw


OMG....:-o LMAO....:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

Yep, where would you like me to send the pole?


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## Tyree Johnson

Carol Boche said:


> OMG....:-o LMAO....:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
> 
> Yep, where would you like me to send the pole?



keep your pole carol ... non of this nonsense is happening! lol


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## Carol Boche

Tyree Johnson said:


> Young hot cable guy here.... If anybodys interested!


And you have a Mal, correct?


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## Tyree Johnson

Carol Boche said:


> And you have a Mal, correct?



yes i do ... "Dallas"


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## Michele Moore

Tyree Johnson said:


> Young hot cable guy here.... If anybodys interested!


 Is this an offer to get some free movie channels? If that's the case I'm interested


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## Ashley Campbell

This threads interesting.
Husband #1, we met in person, became good friends, got married, had 2 kids, got divorced...are still great friends. We just weren't compatible as far as a relationship went.
Husband #2. Met online, but not on a dating site, actually on Youtube. He posted a video, I made a comment, someone flamed me for being a "******" because the video was of a guy dancing around in his underwear like on Jackass. DH msg'ed me, we laughed about me being a "******" then talked on MSN and on the phone a couple of times. We met when I moved out to Colorado as he was headed out for Germany. We were very compatible talking online and on the phone, and just as much so in person.

I think the reason online dating works is because you don't have the inhibition like you would on a date. You can talk to someone on the other side of the screen, and if they disapprove of something you said, there's no awkwardness of trying to split in the middle of a date. Or if something they've done or said is just so beyond you, you can close out the window and block them, and they're gone. There isn't the unknown quantity of going out with someone you don't know, at least for me, I felt like I knew quite a bit about him already and I was comfortable.


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## Chris Michalek

tyree johnson said:


> keep your pole carol ... Non of this nonsense is happening! Lol



get on your knees schutzhund ***.


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## Gillian Schuler

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Tyree Johnson

Chris Michalek said:


> get on your knees schutzhund ***.





Michele Moore said:


> Is this an offer to get some free movie channels? If that's the case I'm interested


i see this thread is heading in the wrong direction .... michele wants free cable, and banana hammock chris wants a young choir boy ..... i'll see if i can work something out for you two ....


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## Michele Moore

Tyree Johnson said:


> i see this thread is heading in the wrong direction .... michele wants free cable, and banana hammock chris wants a young choir boy ..... i'll see if i can work something out for you two ....


We are both in Arizona if that helps


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## Tyree Johnson

Michele Moore said:


> We are both in Arizona if that helps



i can kill two birds with one stone .... hahahah :neutral:


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## Kristen Cabe

Oh dear GOD, this has got to be one of the best threads on here in a while! :lol: :lol:


I have just one comment: Internet 'dating' can be quite the experience, that's for sure!  And that's all I have to say about that. Carry on!


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## Jim Nash

Haven't tried it yet but some of the divorced dads on my son's hockey team say it's great . They meet new women all the time .

I think internet dating can more beneficial for men then women . They can take time to compose their messages to women get it just right send it and let the woman's much more highly developed imagination take over from there . 

I found this with texting . Before my divorce I never texted and thought it was the silliest thing around . But once divorced I found there was a texting dating ritual . Exchange phone #'s as friends start off texting random friendly stuff then progress from there . Guys will appear way smoother on a text then they ever could in person and women will text things they never would say to a guy in person .


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## Joby Becker

Jim Nash said:


> I think internet dating can more beneficial for men then women . They can take time to compose their messages to women get it just right send it and let the woman's much more highly developed imagination take over from there .


Agreed...but if your gonna try it ever, don't get bogged down with Emailing...go for the real time chatting and texting....things move much faster that way. you don;t invest a lot of time and effort, so when you meet if it doesn't work out..it's not that much of a let down....


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## Lee H Sternberg

Joby Becker said:


> Agreed...but if your gonna try it ever, don't get bogged down with Emailing...go for the real time chatting and texting....things move much faster that way. you don;t invest a lot of time and effort, so when you meet if it doesn't work out..it's not that much of a let down....


If I'm guessing correctly the downside to real time is it makes it more difficult to juggle 5 or 10 chicks at the same time? NO?\\/


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## Joby Becker

Lee H Sternberg said:


> If I'm guessing correctly the downside to real time is it makes it more difficult to juggle 5 or 10 chicks at the same time? NO?\\/


not if you can type fast....and keep em straight... the key is being respectful and witty...silly and naughty are ok too...DON'T BE A PERV though....lol

thing is for some women it's entertainment. they have no intention to meet someone anytime soon....which is fine, I understand it...but you can get bogged down in chatting away...or emailing for a month and never meet the person....I always was doing it to MEET someone, not waste time...

I had a policy that a few good chat sessions or emails should get me a number (under 10 or so). Otherwise I chocked them up for "entertainement only" or just plain scared to meet someone...

plus if you chat a lot or over a longer period..the initial meeting gets all built up, expectations, false impressions, "feelings"?? and sometimes the woman has it built up so much she fails to follow through cause it is built up into a big deal....people are usually different than what you expect from chatting or talking on the phone....and if you put a lot of time and effort in it is disappointing if it doesn't work out...they lie, they act more confident, impressions you form are usually not accurate....less is more in my book....simple....it's just a date for christ's sake...hopefully leads to more dates...but if not, no biggie if you don;t have a lot into it...

best scenario....get a number after 1 or 2 chats...talk on phone a time or two...meet ASAP in a public place...no major plans....coffee, a drink...lunch...a walk...see how it goes. If it doesn't work out it's way easier to bale than if you planned dinner and movie, and x,y,z.

before yahoo IM shut down their free member directory and started a pay dating site, I had more dates than I had time for...I might not be great with dogs...but at internet dating I am a PRO....


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## maggie fraser

You're sounding a real dab hand Joby....attracting someone is one thing, keeping them is another huh?


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## Joby Becker

maggie fraser said:


> You're sounding a real dab hand Joby....attracting someone is one thing, keeping them is another huh?


Depends on if you want to keep them:twisted:....

I have no real interest in getting married....and never had a bad breakup...still talk to most of my old gf's. giving advice, helping with their current problems....my current GF doesn't like it that much, but she knows I am a genuinely nice guy and just am trying to help people that I still care about but just am not in love with.....

My current GF I met online last fall...about 10 months ago....still going strong
before that I went on string of dates for about six months...

I have had many many dates and some good relationships...from internet dating....
first real gf from online lasted about 6 yrs...
another 2 yrs
another 2.5 yrs
then another for about a year
and another for 2.5 years or so...
all with healthy breaks/dating in between....
hopefully this one will last longer....
if not I might try to chat YOU up


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## maggie fraser

Joby Becker said:


> Depends on if you want to keep them:twisted:....
> 
> I have no real interest in getting married....and never had a bad breakup...still talk to most of my old gf's. giving advice, helping with their current problems....my current GF doesn't like it that much, but she knows I am a genuinely nice guy and just am trying to help people that I still care about but just am not in love with.....
> 
> My current GF I met online last fall...about 10 months ago....still going strong
> before that I went on string of dates for about six months...
> 
> I have had many many dates and some good relationships...from internet dating....
> first real gf from online lasted about 6 yrs...
> another 2 yrs
> another 2.5 yrs
> then another for about a year
> and another for 2.5 years or so...
> all with healthy breaks/dating in between....
> hopefully this one will last longer....
> if not I might try to chat YOU up


What colour of underpants do you wear, don't think you missed anything else out ? :-k =;


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## Kristen Cabe

That country song comes to mind...... You all know the one... :lol:


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## Joby Becker

maggie fraser said:


> What colour of underpants do you wear, don't think you missed anything else out ? :-k =;


lol...
maybe thats why I can't keep a girl...I wear tightie whities...thanks for asking...

anyhow... Just giving some pointers..internet dating is now a big part of our culture over here...


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## maggie fraser

Joby Becker said:


> lol...
> maybe thats why I can't keep a girl...I wear tightie whities...thanks for asking...
> 
> anyhow... Just giving some pointers..internet dating is now a big part of our culture over here...


 
Don't you go getting all serious and sensitive on me now you hear!

Am I doing it right Joby ?


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## Joby Becker

maggie fraser said:


> Don't you go getting all serious and sensitive on me now you hear!
> 
> Am I doing it right Joby ?


YES...:wink:


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## maggie fraser

Joby Becker said:


> YES...:wink:


Did you see I posted another joke for your girlfriend ?

Well, when you're done there (with your girlfriend), give me a shout and we can have a go at this internet dating. Oh, how long do you think you'll be ? Will we keep this thread open ?


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## Lee H Sternberg

Joby, I think you are possibly missing your calling. Did you ever consider starting a advice forum for internet dating?:-D


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## Lee H Sternberg

maggie fraser said:


> Did you see I posted another joke for your girlfriend ?
> 
> Well, when you're done there (with your girlfriend), give me a shout and we can have a go at this internet dating. Oh, how long do you think you'll be ? Will we keep this thread open ?


OMG! And to think it all started on my thread! I feel like CUPID!:-D


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## maggie fraser

Lee H Sternberg said:


> OMG! And to think it all started on my thread! I feel like CUPID!:-D


 
LOL :grin:

Something bright and beautiful is growing :-D.


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## Chris Michalek

Maggie!!! You're a TWO TIMER!


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## Faisal Khan

You have to be aware of the "biological clock" really stacks the odds. I met my 2nd wife online, we both raced motorcycles and were well past the stupidities, worked out very well.


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## Lynda Myers

Chris Michalek said:


> I claim to be no expert in this matter but IMO I believe relationship success comes from transparency. I have no secrets between me and my wife. I don't care if she reads, this board, I don't care if she reads my email etc... I fully subscribe to, if I can't do it in front of my gal then I shouldn't be doing it. That level of transparency is what really cements trust.
> 
> I also do all of the house work minus laundry and I cook so perhaps that has more to do with our success than anything else.



Chris that's well said...but most can not endure that must transparency.


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## Lynda Myers

Joby Becker said:


> My mom passed away a few yrs ago...my dad got on Eharmony and got married about 6 months after he got on there, at 75 yrs old lol
> 
> Almost every unmarried person I know ( and some married people I know) has gone a date that was spawned from the internet, whether an actual dating site or not...


Joby that's no feat really...in your Dad's age group it's probably something like 20-30 women to one man!:mrgreen: LOL Seriously though at his age he could have been very very selective and still made out like a bandit.


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## Joby Becker

Lynda Myers said:


> Joby that's no feat really...in your Dad's age group it's probably something like 20-30 women to one man!:mrgreen: LOL Seriously though at his age he could have been very very selective and still made out like a bandit.


i wish he would have....I dont like her much and neither do my sisters...but hey he is old enough to make his own choices....


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## Gerry Grimwood

I guess it doesn't matter where you meet someone if it works out, I met my wife in a bar after a ball game..she was on a womens team in the same tournament and when I asked her how many other midgets were on her team she kicked my chair and I landed on my back :lol:

She isn't really a midget, but the fantasy still is alive after 28 yrs :razz:


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## Anne Vaini

Anne Vaini said:


> I've been with #26 for a year and half and waiting for a diamond ring. :mrgreen: I should be careful! He is a member here (but I'm 99.9% sure he doesn't read the boards anymore.) :lol:


Diamond ring: received! And this post had nothing to do with it. :mrgreen:


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## Tyree Johnson

Anne Vaini said:


> Diamond ring: received! And this post had nothing to do with it. :mrgreen:



congrats ... but does he know what he's in for?


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## Carol Boche

Anne Vaini said:


> Diamond ring: received! And this post had nothing to do with it. :mrgreen:


CONGRATS Anne!!!! That is awesome!


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## Lee H Sternberg

Anne Vaini said:


> Diamond ring: received! And this post had nothing to do with it. :mrgreen:


Well, well, congratulations!


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## Bob Scott

Cool! Congrats!


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## Anne Vaini

Tyree Johnson said:


> congrats ... but does he know what he's in for?


I'm getting a new dog tomorrow. [-X :lol:


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## Nicole Stark

Anne Vaini said:


> Diamond ring: received! And this post had nothing to do with it. :mrgreen:


Rock and roll baby! Congratulations. :smile:


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## Jim Nash

A million smarta** comments come to mind but I think I'll do the right thing instead and simply say ..... Congratulations !


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## dixontarave

I want to thank all the women for their warmth, care, and attention. I wish each of you to be the happiest in this wonderful world, to fulfill a cherished dream, and to always feel the joy! I want to congratulate my beautiful girlfriend in particular, I'm so glad we met on https://datehookup.dating/singles-mo-kansas_city-3.htm at the right time of our lives and I hope we'll always be together, love you


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